


Love thy neighbour

by Dissent



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types, Lamento -BEYOND THE VOID-
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Arguing, Best Friends, College, Dancing, Father-Son Relationship, Grooming, M/M, Non-Consensual Touching, Pining, Reunions, Single Parents, Teasing, Touga & Sanga, Training, domestic stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-04-07 03:43:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19076785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dissent/pseuds/Dissent
Summary: College is stressful, his father's new boyfriend is an idiot, the constant training to be a Sanga is getting him nowhere at all and then there is this silver cat that isn't only ridiculously beautiful but also one of the most renowned Touga's of the country and over all: he's Konoe's new neighbour.Long story short: life in the formerly calm and quiet cul-de-sac changes in every way possible when Rai moves in next door.(ON HIATUS FOR NOW BECAUSE I AM A HORRIBLE AUTHOR AND AS MUCH AS I LOVE THIS STORY I CAN'T WRITE ANYMORE)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SonicoSenpai](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonicoSenpai/gifts).



The cul-de-sac is located at the edge of town and the silver birch trees hide it well from the cats passing by on the main street. Today, the fresh, green leaves are rustled violently as I hurry down the driveway towards one of the five small, cozy houses. My chin is nuzzled into the collar of my coat in an effort to escape the vile wind when I finally reach the entrance door and quickly slip into the house, though not quickly enough to prevent a swirl of gritty dust from entering along with me.

"Ah, Konoe!"

My father's voice already echoes from the kitchen while I stretch my tail with a heaving sigh. Having to keep it tucked under the waistband of my pants is a real pain in the ass because I always end up sore. I absolutely despise stormy days like this. Enjoying the sudden freedom, my tail twitches and sways into a happy arch, actually making me jump in surprise. A deep blush starts to creep onto my cheeks while I hastily put down my coat and schoolbag. I'm acting like a kitten with absolutely no self-control! Suddenly, the delicious scent of grilled meat tickles my nose and I sniff, once, twice - this smells heavenly!

"What's for lunch, Dad?", I ask curiously when I pad into the kitchen, expecting to see him by the stove or setting the table, but the cat moving around the room isn't my father.

Immediately, a scowl starts to tug at my lips, even as the tall man gives me a smile and his black tail flicks in a welcoming manner. Dad mirrors the gesture. He's sitting on a chair by the table and one of his ears turns towards me while the other one remains curved in the direction of the taller cat.

"I see you're back, Konoe. I hope, beef steak and potatoes are okay?" Leaks' voice is almost timid, but I know he's just trying to play nice in front of Dad. He would _never_ talk to me like this if we were alone. He's arrogant, pretentious and quick-tempered and I know he reciprocates my hatred for him, even if he tries to hide it. All of a sudden, my appetite vanishes into thin air.

"I'm not hungry", I mutter, trying to ignore that my growling stomach is clearly giving me away. "And I have a lot of homework, so excuse me."

With that, I bolt out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room. Why does Leaks have to be here again? Why is Dad still inviting him over? What does he even _see_ in this cat? I just don't get it! Breathing heavily out of anger and frustration, I slam the door shut behind me and as soon as I've turned the key to lock it, there are soft steps approaching. Of course Dad is going to check on me. I should've known better. Pouting, I sit down against the wall and cross my arms. My stomach is still rumbling, but I refuse to acknowledge the hunger. I'll eat later when the two of them go out for a walk or something. Maybe some fruit or a sandwich. I don't feel like eating anything Leaks made.

"Konoe, dear?", a worried voice whispers from the other side of the door. "Please answer me. What's wrong? Did something happen at school? Was somebody being mean to you? If it's just about a bad grade, please don't worry, I won't get angry."

My ears flatten back against my head and I feel the fur on them fluffing out in rage. Does he really think I'm upset about something at school? My mood has been great until I barged in on that sycophant who's been hanging around Dad for far too long already now!

"Leave me alone!", I snap and bury my face in both hands. "Just... just go away! I don't want to talk to you!"

Astonished silence. For a few moments, it's quiet and then, I hear Dad retreating slowly.

"Okay. Okay, I see", he mutters and all of a sudden, guilt is nagging away at me. Sure, he's just trying to be nice... But how am I supposed to just happily accept the fact that Leaks is almost living with us now? How can Dad be so unfaithful to Mom? Doesn't she mean anything to him? Is it really _this_ easy to forget about a woman you once loved? I drop down even further and curl my tail around myself, grabbing the crooked tip to hold onto it.

Dad slowly walks away and I hear his steps fading towards the end of the hallway already, but then, there's a second voice and I hear Leaks coming upstairs. For a moment, they're talking quietly but then, I hear the angry voice of the black cat loud and clear, even through the door to my room.

"Don't let him talk to you like this! You're his father and he doesn't show any respect towards you. I can't believe you're still allowing him to act up, Shui! He _isn't_ a kit anymore, he knows exactly what he's doing and saying, so go back over and finally talk some sense into him!"

Oh, how I hate him! Dad has never scolded me, never ever, only since Leaks comes over. He's gotten a lot stricter, too. Usually, I've been allowed to come and go whenever I pleased and Dad was completely fine with it, but then Leaks came and started pointing out how I was never home for dinner or nobody knew where I was going when I left. Dad started to get unsure and then, he began putting up rules.

_Be home for every meal or call me if you aren't going to be, tell me where you're going and with whom, I need to know when you'll be back, what you are going to do, if you're going to stay the night somewhere else..._

"Leaks, he's a teenage boy, of course he's revolting a little against me. That's absolutely no reason to get angry at him, he'll calm down in a while so-"

"Is this how you're going to live? With your son walking all over you like this? With him disrespecting you and yelling at you and being a little brat whenever he gets the chance to do so? Don't you think he owes you at least a little respect for taking care of him so lovingly? I don't think that's the right way to handle a child like him."

I can literally feel Dad shrinking under Leaks' harsh glares and cold words. He's such a soft, gentle man, he doesn't dare to raise his voice against anyone, least of all against someone he loves. Goosebumps rush up my arms like pricks of tiny needles at the thought and I shiver, disgusted.

_Love._

I barely dare to fear that Dad might actually be _in love_ with Leaks. Oh God, what if they decide to move in together? Please not! I groan and carefully crawl forward until I reach my bed, then I dive into the pillows and blankets like they can protect me from the horrific images in my mind. Why does Dad even like that guy? He's not exactly nice, he's not funny and not very appealing. He's always so stern, loves books and computers more than people and whenever he sees the opportunity to ramble on about his science stuff, he starts talking and doesn't stop. And for some absurd reason, Dad listens and smiles and acts like all those technical terms are the sweetest lovesong dedicated only to him.

"Maybe you're right and I'm being too kind sometimes, but Leaks, please... Konoe is having a hard time right now. It's been only me and him for almost thirteen years and suddenly, he has to share my attention with you. Be patient with him, only a few more weeks. I'm sure he will get used to you and who knows, once he sees that it's not as bad as he thinks, maybe he'll open up a little more and come to like you?", my father mutters, his voice has an almost pleading tone to it and I scoff.

Pathetic.

As if I'd ever like Leaks. Suddenly, my eyes are stinging and burning, I feel my vision growing blurry and hastily wipe the tears away that start gathering in my lashes. I don't want to cry, but this rage, this powerlessness, is driving me nuts. And before I can hold them back, the sobs break free from my chest. I hate Leaks, I hate Dad, I hate myself and I hate my life and all I really want is for Mom to return so I can hide in her flowery hair and wait for her to tell Dad with her soft voice that he's making a mistake. And then he will finally understand and tell Leaks to go and never come back so we can be a family again. I'm barely getting enough air to breathe and the tears soak my pillow until it's sopping wet as my shoulders shake and tremble while I claw the sheets and blankets in a desperate attempt to stifle the sounds I'm making. I don't want Dad to hear me crying.

But he does anyway.

"Konoe! Konoe, are you quite alright?"

His voice is growing concerned as he knocks against the door again and I can imagine what expression he's wearing - the same one I've been seeing on him for years now. Sorrowful and worried yet exasperated at the same time. He's sick of me, sick of my immature behaviour, I know it yet I can't do anything about it. It's not my fault and it's not fair that he's choosing Leaks over me now!

But it's fine, if he doesn't want me here anyway, then I might as well leave! All I do is causing problems, after all!

Still crying silently, I sit up in bed and wipe my face, but it doesn't help. The tears keep pouring down and down while I grab my bag and shove a few clothes into it, then I put on the worn-out sneakers that I keep beneath my bed, look around the room, trying to spot something important that I could need sooner or later, but then impatience and despair get the better of me - I just bolt towards the door and turn the key. Dad backs away in surprise as I rush out of my room and past him, bag clutched tightly to my chest.

"Konoe! Where are you going? Konoe!"

They both come after me and Leaks almost catches my tail with one hand, but misses it by a mere inch and I escape down the stairs, out the front door and down the street. I still taste salt in the corners of my mouth and sob as I run, sling the belt of my bag over my shoulder in the process and continue on. My feet hit the ground, beating the rhythm to the thoughts in my head.

_Leave me alone, leave me alone, just leave me alone, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you..._

From afar, I think I hear someone yelling my name, but I wouldn't swear on it. Maybe I'm just imagining things. The few cats I'm passing throw me irritated glares and flatten their ears back, some of them even hiss at me, but nobody stops me as I run down the streets and bolt around a corner. The suburbs are calm and quiet at this time of the day, most families are having lunch right now and I'm glad. I must look horrible right now, with puffy eyes and running nose. Sobbing a little shakily, I finally spot the driveway I've been heading for and slow down. Through the tears, I barely manage to ring the bell, but then my trembling finger finally hits the button right and I hear a faint sound coming from the house. Wind bites at my bare arms - I've run away without even grabbing my coat or a jacket on the way out - and I feel my fur and hair being ruffled. Finally, when I already start to think Tokino hasn't even heard the doorbell, there's a cracking in the speaker and then a familiar, deep voice talks to me.

"Hello?"

"I-It's me, Konoe", I choke out and hope, my voice doesn't sound as teary as it feels in my throat.

"Konoe, of course! Come in!", Tokino's father says happily and a low buzzing sound rings out. "I gotta disappoint you though if you're here to see Tokino, he's still at practice."

I push down the handle of the gate and rush into the garden, up to the large, white house and to the front door. As soon as I reach it, it's opened from within already and a warm smile greets me, but it vanishes quickly from the tall cat's lips when he sees my probably swollen face and wet eyes.

"Oh dear", he mutters and leads me inside, shutting the door firmly behind us.

I stand there with trembling arms and the bag slides from my shoulder. I don't know what to do. I just came here on instinct. I wanted to be somewhere safe, somewhere else than at home. Shoga cups my face with the most horrified look in his eyes and carefully checks on me.

"Why are you crying, Konoe? Why are you even _here?_ Did something happen? Is your dad okay? Did somebody hurt you?" He has his fur fluffed out and his fangs bared, the tip of his tail is twitching furiously. "Come on Konoe, let's get you to the kitchen and have something to drink."

He nudges me over to the kitchen table and pushes me down on a chair. I'm still shaking a little and my breath is unrhythmical, but now, the anger isn't as heated as before. My vision and hearing narrow down until all I see is the tabletop in front of me and a white static fills my ears. I feel like someone is talking to me, but I can't understand what they are saying. Only when a cup of steaming hot coffee is placed down on the table, I snap out of my trance. The delicious scent rises into my nose and I automatically reach out to grab the cup and take a sip.

"And now calm down. Everything is fine, don't worry."

I stare straight ahead, lost in thoughts and drowning in my own mind. Why is Leaks more important to Dad than I am? Why is he choosing that man over me? Slowly, my upper body sinks down onto the tabletop and I feel the tears welling up in my eyes again. My throat is already aching and sore and I don't think I can stand it to cry again. I don't want to. I don't want to.

I don't-

"Konoe, sweetheart..."

Shoga hugs me tightly and I feel his warm chest against my face as he rocks me back and forth, strokes my hair and rubs my arm until my desperate sobs have broken down.

"Dad doesn't love me anymore!", I choke out even though my tongue is dry and I have trouble moving it. "He... he's always... always inviting that guy over and I've told him so many times now that I hate him, but he keeps doing it and since Leaks is there, he doesn't care for me anymore! He's only gotten much more strict and... and Leaks always encourages him. He says, Dad should yell at me and ground me and I don't want to go back there while he is with Dad!"

The slender fingers combing through my hair stop for a second and Shoga inhales sharply, then he leans down and gently, very gently nuzzles my ears - just like Dad used to do.

"My poor boy. Looks like I'll have to give Shui quite a tongue-lashing over this."

His voice so close to my ear rises goosebumps on my skin and I shudder lightly. Shoga's calm breathing is gradually sinking into me and my lids lower down until I'm half-dizzy from exhaustion, from my run earlier and from the knowledge that somebody is there, somebody is caring for me, somebody is not letting me down when I need them.  
Before I fall asleep right there and then, a soft, warm tongue touches my ear, smooths out the fur on it and cleans it carefully. Tingles rush down the lenght of my spine, course through my tail and up to the tip, making it twitch and sway to the side. Shoga sighs quietly, runs his hand over the back of my head and to my neck.

"You can stay here as long as you'd like, Konoe, you know that", he mutters and I can hear the soft, reassuring smile in his voice.

At the same time, a phone rings in the distance. For a split second, sharp claws brush against my skin, but then Shoga gets up from his chair and pads over to the kitchen counter. The ringing stops and I hear a distressed voice echoing from the speaker.

"Is Konoe with you? He ran away from home and I can't find him anywhere!"

"Oh yeah, he's here", Shoga growls and nothing in his voice is the same as before. "And he is going to stay here until you've cleared your head. Think about that guy you're fawning over and maybe remember that Konoe isn't the type to not like people for no reason at all. Good day, Shui."

He slams the phone down and returns to the kitchen table, but I'm barely aware of it. The second his hand touches my ears again, my consciousness flickers and I sink down into the dark.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

A comforting, warm scent surrounds me and when I move, fabric brushes against my skin. I'm in bed - a large, soft bed I know all too well - I've slept here at least once a week ever since my childhood. When I try to sit up though, there's something weighing me down and I turn my head, only to see a silky mop of bright orange hair with two equally orange ears peeking out of it. Tokino is sleeping, but his lips are pressed together so tightly that they've grown pale and his brows are furrowed like he's having a nightmare. He's not even under the blanket with me and he is still wearing his track suit as if the first thing he's done after coming home is crawling onto the bed to fall asleep next to me. His arm that's resting across my hips is limp and heavy, but when he feels me moving, his hand twitches and grabs the blanket.

"Konoe?", he mutters with sleep-hazed voice and lifts his upper body, only to fall back down with a groan. "Oh shit, sorry, you must be burning up..."

He rolls over and tugs the blanket from my shoulders. As soon as the chilly air hits me, I notice that my shirt is indeed soaked with sweat. Tokino yawns, sits up and looks down at me with a frown.

"When I came home and Dad told me you were here, I flipped completely. What happened? Did your dad kick you out? Did that Leaks-guy do something to you?"

He sounds genuinely worried and I feel my face heating up when I remember my shameful escape from home. Lowering my ears and tail, I drop my gaze down and don't dare to look back at my best friend.

"N-Not really, but... I just wanted to get away. He was there _again_ when I came back from school and when I went to my room instead of having lunch with them both, he told Dad to be stricter with me", I mutter, awkwardly playing with the crooked tip of my tail.

"Again?!", Tokino exclaims angrily and his nose crinkles. "That's like the fourth or fifth time this week! He's acting like you're a drug addict or alcoholic, regularly trashing your dad's place and getting into trouble at school or something!"

I can't do anything but nod because even if he's laying it on thick, he's _right._ Before Leaks came along, Dad and I were on best terms. We had fun without anyone else, we cooked together, had movie nights and went hiking. And whenever he had half an hour to spare, he trained me. As Sisa's chief Sanga, of course he wants me to follow in his footsteps, but until now, we haven't had any luck. I've been taking flute and violin lessons since I've been little, Dad even bought a lyra for me in case that's something that'll trigger my song, but no. I still can't feel anything when playing an instrument like he does. On a few occasions, he even let me play his lute, but I know that he always was reluctant to let me do so. He would hate to see me singing with his lute. That's just his thing, _his_ and nobody else's. But now, since Leaks barges into our house at a daily basis, our training has turned into a military drill with Dad staring at me disappointedly and Leaks standing behind him, shaking his head. I remember his exact words after he's watched me train for the first time.

_"Look at him. His posture is horrible, his pace is uneven and he's lacking all skills a Sanga his age should be having. I'm not saying it's your fault, Shui, but let's intensify the lessons."_

I've never felt so miserable and humiliated ever before than when Dad turned around with an unsure look, eyeing me sceptically and I was literally able to see the thoughts racing behind his forehead. And with that, he went from being my patient father to a stern teacher who would scold me everytime I missed a tone or lost track of the music.

Something warm presses into my shoulder and when I jump, startled, Tokino looks up at me with what I can only describe as a heartbroken expression. His ears are curved backwards and his tail is repeatedly lashing down onto the mattress, thumping against it.

"Can I do something for you? Anything at all? Get you something to eat or to drink or should I just leave you alone?"

He sounds desperate and looks like it, too. It must be hard for him, not knowing how to help or comfort me. I wonder what I would do in his position, what I would do if he came to my house, crying about a guy who's been claiming his dad for himself.

I wonder what _Dad_ would do.

Suddenly, my hands are clawing at Tokino's shirt and I'm not even sure of what he's saying because the static in my ears is back.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

The next day, we're greeted with a nice, hot breakfast when we enter the kitchen. Shoga, who's standing by the stove, turns around and smiles at us.

"Good morning, boys! Eat up, get showered and dressed and grab your bags, I'm driving you to school today."

Tokino beams back at his father and I feel my tail going limp when I remember that Dad and I used to do that too. We sit down by the table and even though my mood isn't the best, Tokino's happy rambling even makes me smile while we stuff our faces with bacon and eggs. Shoga watches us, shaking his head, laughing.

"How do you guys do it?", he asks, visibly amused. "You eat as much as a bunch of starving cavemen and you both are still thinner than a hair."

He stalks over, ruffles our hair and disappears down the hallway into his study. Tokino grabs our now empty plates, winks at me and puts them into the dishwasher.

"Come on, let's hurry! You can go take a shower first, I'll pack our bags in the meantime. If you need fresh clothes, just grab something from my closet", he offers and slowly pads upstairs.

I nod, feeling a little better than before, and enter the bathroom. In less than a few seconds, I've stripped down the pants and shirt I've worn since yesterday and step into the shower. Turning on the water, I shriek at how cold it is at first. My fur gets soaked and my tail twitches uncomfortably at the sudden wetness. I rush myself into soaping up my hair, fur and body and don't even take time to enjoy the water that's slowly starting to warm up now. As soon as all the bubbles are rinsed off of my skin, I step out onto the bath mat and wrap one of the two towels Shoga has laid out for us around myself. Then I rush upstairs and smile at Tokino, who is already done with sorting out the stuff we'll need for today.

"Okay, let me just hop under the shower for a second, then we can leave", he sings happily and dances out of the room.

I watch him, nodding and looking down at my bag. Shoga has added two lunch boxes to the stack of books and pencil cases spread out on Tokino's bed, with a little note taped to them.

_Have a nice day, boys!_

A sad smile creeps onto my face again and I go through the stack of clothing I have left in my bag. Why didn't I look at what I was packing yesterday? Frowning, I stare down at the jeans in my hands. They are too wide, I'll need a belt for those. Quickly going through Tokino's drawers, I grab one of his black leather belts, put it on along with the jeans and stare at the three shirts I've brought along. The black one looks fitting. I slip it on and carry our bags downstairs where Shoga is already waiting, toying with his car keys. When he sees me, he grins happily.

"Ready for the last day of school for this week, Konoe?"

I force a smile onto my lips and shrug weakly.

"Yeah, I mean... exams are coming up and we have many subjects to study for, but weekend is always nice, I guess...", I mutter and look down.

My tail is slowly waving left to right, until it's playfully grabbed and tugged at. I hiss, spin around and narrow my eyes to thin slits. Tokino laughs his usual, cheeky laugh and flicks my ear in response.

"Don't freak out like that, relax!", he says with a wide smile. "It's Friday and school will end at noon, so start to cheer up! The teachers won't give us a hard time today either."

I scowl, but my best friend's laughter is too contagious - I can't resists the chuckle that bubbles up in my throat. Shoga and Tokino exchange a short, triumphant glance, then his father ushers us over to the car parked in the driveway. We climb into the back, chatting and joking, and for a while, I even forget about the disaster at home.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

It's almost lunchtime and I'm in math class, constantly drifting off to sleep. Tokino is in economic studies, so there's nobody keeping me from doing so. Only Aoba, one of my friends, who is sitting close by, sometimes pokes me with the tip of his pencil to startle me awake.

"Hey, don't just fall asleep like that!", he whispers angrily after the third time and scoots closer. "Konoe, Razel-sensei is going to get angry if you keep it up!"

I lift my head and look at the large man sitting by the teacher's desk. His flaming red hair shifts around his sharp features as he stares back at me with blazing eyes and I shrink down into my chair. Aoba groans and ducks his head as well when Razel-sensei gets up and starts walking towards us.

"Oh hell no, now you've done it!", the bluehaired boy next to me whines quietly and his fluffy ears press flat against his head in an instant.

"I believe you boys should be working on your exercise books", Razel-sensei suddenly growls and bends down so he's eye to eye with the two of us. "You are both not on my list of best students, so better get to work and if I catch one of you talking or slacking off, you're not going home at noon today."

He leers down at me, flashing his snow white fangs. The shiny black horns that curve from the sides of his head upwards are gleaming in the sunlight that seeps in through the windows and both me and Aoba cower in our seats when he finally returns to his desk. Needless to say we barely dare to move after this. Razel-sensei is known to hand out hard punishments, even the bad boys are afraid of him. Even so, I can't seem to shake the boredom that seeps from every pore of my body. Binomial formulas. What even is that? I know that it's important for the next exam, but I really haven't been paying attention in class, for heaven's sake! And I can't even ask Aoba, who is a literal genius in maths. If I talk now, I'll get to serve detention for a month or two - and it'd be even worse if Razel-sensei found out that I have absolutely no clue of what topic we're currently talking about.

Careful not to catch anybodies attention, I fumble around with my phone and actually manage to switch it on. If I'm not going to study for class, then might as well get some entertainment instead. Maybe Tokino feels up to chat a little. But when I open my messenger app, someone has already texted me. I frown when I see the all too familiar icon on top of the screen.

_Message from: Dad_

_Konoe, I'm very sorry about_  
_yesterday. Please, come back_  
_home. I know that you're_  
_angry, but I'm sure we can_  
_talk about it._

Oh, does he really think that? He thinks _we_ can talk about it? Who is _we?_ Him and Leaks against me, I guess. Huffing, I put the phone away again and cross both arms in front of my chest without texting back.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

Tokino and I meet up by the fountain in the middle of campus and slump down on one of the marble benches surrounding it. He rolls onto his stomach, rests his cheek against the warm stone and drops one hand into the cool water with a drawn-out sigh.

"Ugh... College is hard, isn't it?"

I kick a pebble away, nodding absent-mindedly.

"You can say that again. Got a dressing-down from Razel-sensei today in front of the class, just because I was not paying attention. Dragged Aoba into it as well. I should really apologize to him about it soon", I mutter.

He chuckles, splashes his hand around a little bit, sways his tail and gives me a compassionate look.

"Poor guy. Do you want to grab lunch here or should I just cook something up at home?"

For a short moment, I ponder his words and try to pull up pros and cons. Lunch at school isn't the best, but it's nice. We could probably meet up with a few of our friends if we leave for the cafeteria now. On the other hand, Tokino is a real great chef and anything he cooks is delicious. Alongside that, he's also a perfect entertainer, so even when it's just the two of us, we always have something to laugh about.

Or... or I could just go home.

Suddenly, I miss Dad. I miss him so much that a dull, warm ache starts to fill the back of my head and my stomach feels hollow, like I've been starving for days. Sighing, I get to my feet and grab my bag from the ground. Tokino watches me in confusion, but he sits up too and looks at me with twitching ears.

"Where are you going?", he asks, voice raised questioningly.

I turn my head away and grab the belt of my bag tighter.

"Home", I mutter. "Dad... texted me earlier on. I think, he's really sorry this time. It wouldn't be fair to keep pouting at him when he's trying to make it up to me. I'll just hear him out. Besides that, staying at your place is only causing trouble for you and your dad."

Tokino huffs and shakes his head in exasperation.

"Nonsense. Konoe, please don't go. You're not causing any trouble at all, Dad and I are happy to have you over. Please, just stay for two more days. Stay until Monday. Stay the weekend."

His tone is almost pleading as he grabs my wrist and keeps me in place. I feel my face heating up at the sudden touch and jerk away from him with a swift movement.

"Tokino!", I bark, a little embarrassed. "I'm going home!"

And I start running, as fast as possible. He yells my name, chases after me, but I'm too fast for him. I have always been faster than him, ever since preschool. As I full-on sprint down the streets for the second time in only two days, a bitter laugh starts rising from my chest. How messed up is my life, anyway? The outlinings of the birch trees in the driveway come into sight as I gradually slow down to catch my breath. The base of my tail is quivering, my ears move around restlessly. When I reach the cul-de-sac, something strikes me as odd. Something is not like usual. Something is different.

That's when I see the truck.

It's large and white, with a beautiful golden label on the side. The label looks familiar, but I can't remember where I've seen it before. That's when a man in black uniform jumps out of the back, carrying a big cardboard box and placing it in the driveway next to ours.

"That was the last one!", he says happily and wipes his forehead. "If you require our services again, please do not hesitate to call."

He shakes the hand of someone who is hidden from my sight by the giant driver's cab, climbs back into his truck and starts it. Suspicious about what's going on, I carefully step aside as to not get into the man's way while he maneuvers the truck out of the cul-de-sac. And while I still stare after it, trying to figure out when the house next to ours has been sold, I hear a voice behind me.

"Konoe! Dear Gods, you're back!"

With an amount of strenght nobody would guess he has in his lithe figure, Dad hugs me and spins me around. I feel his soft hair caressing my face and when he kisses my ears and forehead, a joyful purr starts to form in the depths of my room.

"I'm so sorry, Konoe, I'll apologize for everything, I promise!", Dad whispers as he puts me down and holds me even tighter. "Please, forgive me, I didn't mean to upset you this badly."

Nuzzling his shoulder, I breathe in the sweet scent that always seems to surround him and nod with a shaky movement.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have run away like that."

My voice comes out as a choked, husky mumbling. Dad laughs and I can hear the relief in it as he runs his rough tongue over my ear and nibbles at its sensitive tip. This time, I don't even mind the public affection and just close my eyes, still purring.

"Come on, let's get inside. You must be hungry", Dad says softly and turns around, swaying his ginger tail invitingly.

I follow him up to our driveway, when a movement from the left catches my attention. From the corner of my eye, I see a flash of black and blue and when I turn to look at whatever it is, my vision starts to shake like someone has just knocked all air from my lungs.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

On the other side of the fence stands a large, slender cat with flowing white hair.

His face is hidden by long strands of molten silver and the muscles on his arm strain when he picks up one of the boxes standing in the lane. Dad notices that I've stopped dead in my tracks and turns around. Only then, he seems to acknowledge the man. A cautious smile tugs at his lips and he gently nudges me over to the fence - on that occasion, I almost stumble over my own feet, they are too stiff to get me moving - to greet the guy.

"Good day, Sir", Dad strikes up the conversation and I feel cold sweat dripping down my neck as the man turns around to look at us.

His gaze pierces right through me when it meets my face and suddenly, I get dizzy. Am I fainting? Didn't I drink enough today? Is the heat getting to me? I waver and if it hadn't been for the fence I quickly lean against, I would've probably slammed right into our lawn. Dad doesn't seem to notice, he's too busy smiling at the man who is just nodding towards us with a stern expression.

"Good day."

Oh my God, I seriously can't do this anymore. His voice is like steel wrapped in silk and it runs down my back like ice cold water. What is this doing to me? What is this _man_ doing to me? Feeling like I'm about to throw up, I hear Dad's voice ringing from afar, as if he's talking through a thick layer of glass.

"When did you buy the house? I didn't even realize it was sold."

The man seems hesitant to answer and I just want to tug at Dad's sleeve like an impatient child, desperately wanting to stop him from talking to this man anymore.

"Only a few days ago."

His answers are curt and obviously, he is _not_ in the mood to have a nice, neighbourly chat, but Dad doesn't seem to notice.

"Oh well, I hope you will feel comfortable in our little street. If you ever need help with something, please, come over whenever. We are happy to be of service", he chimes softly. "Ah, how impolite of me! My name is Shui, and this is my son, Konoe. May I ask your name?"

I wish I could crawl into a hole and die. Dad, why do you keep talking when you see that he doesn't want to?

"Rai. Thank you for your kindness."

The man even bows his head a little as he answers, but Dad waves his hand and laughs.

"No problem at all. Speak of the devil, why don't you help Rai with those boxes while I prepare lunch, Konoe?", he asks and lightly pushes me forward.

I freeze on the spot and stare at the silverhaired cat with racing heartbeat. He glances back at me with his ice blue eye that looks like a shard of clear class on white sand, then huffs and turns away.

"Thanks, I can manage them alone."

But I know the expression on Dad's face. He's not taking a No for it when he's wearing that expression.

"Come on, Konoe, it won't take long. And when you're done, please come over to have lunch with us, Rai. I'm sure you don't want to cook today, seeing as you have enough work to do already, unpacking all this stuff."

With that, he happily trots off to the kitchen while I'm left under the judgmental gaze of his man who stares me down like I've just convicted a mass homicide.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Light Non-Con Touching!

"You should go along with your dad", the man finally says curtly and turns away again. "Those boxes might be too heavy for you."

I can't take my eyes off of him as he walks towards the open front door of the house - Gods, this white tail is beautiful! - and my mouth is too dry to answer, partly because of his looks, partly because of the infuriating tone of his voice.

I am not weak!

Fuming with anger, I climb over the small fence and bend down to grab one of the boxes. Shit, he was right. They _are_ heavy. But I sure as hell won't back down now, so I take a deep breath and follow him inside. When I get closer to him, his silver ears curve backwards and he throws a short glance over his shoulder, scowling in disapproval.

"Put it down, kitten, you'll hurt yourself."

Those patronizing words send my fur fluffing out in rage and I hiss at him with bared fangs.

"I can handle an easy job like this one! And don't look at me like this!", I snarl back and immediately regret it.

Rai just glares at me in silence, then tilts his head to the side and when a few strands of his snow white hair slide out of the way, I can see the eyepatch on the right side of his face.

"Quite a feisty little one. Don't you know that kittens should pay some respect to their elders?"

His healthy eye flashes in the light and I back away while my ears press down, down, _down._ I didn't want that. I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to _insult_ him like that.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't... I really wasn't-"

But before I can stutter a whole apology, Rai already disappears into another empty room. I follow him and put down the box I'm carrying, only to feel the blood rushing into my cheeks as I straighten my back again. Honestly, that's just my luck. Offended my new neigbour by literally pointing out that he's missing an eye right away. Perfect, Konoe, just perfect... What's up next, oh wonderful social skills of mine?

"You should really be careful about what you say to adults. If you're that cheeky with everyone, I wouldn't be surprised if you got beaten up on a daily basis", the white cat continues as he carefully slices the duct tape open with one claw and rummages through the cardboard box. "Here."

He throws something in my direction at the speed of light - I am barely able to grasp it in time - and watches as I struggle to keep my balance after catching it. After staring at him with wide eyes and bristled fur, I finally lower my gaze to see what it the object in my hand is.

A small knife.

This...

My jaw goes slack at the sight when I realize that he has thrown an actual _knife_ at me without warning, but before I can even say a word about it, Rai stalks over and grabs it from my hand again, playfully flicks it up into the air and catches it again to put it into his pocket.

"Looks like you're not a Touga, your reflexes are way too slow. You're lucky that I'm not in the mood for a fight. If you were to speak to another Touga like you did to me, you might as well sign your own death penalty. Don't be rude if you can't even fight to defend yourself", he muses casually, as if we are talking about a random topic and not about cold-blooded murder.

For a second, I stare at him with heaving chest, then my brain finally processes what he has just said.

"You... you are a Touga?", I ask, hearing my own heartbeat thundering in my ears.

He _does_ look like one - so strong and tall, with muscles all over his body and what I notice only now is that he has small, thin scars that are covering his arms and hands. Yes, this man is definitely a fighter. Suddenly, it strikes me like lightning and I take a shaky step backwards. Blood drips from my clenched fist.

"Are you... one of our soldiers?", I whisper and watch as his beautiful, ice blue eye turns to the side like he's ashamed.

Abruptly, he spins around and starts walking towards the yard again to get another box. I follow closely and help him carry some of his things inside. We work in silence for a few minutes and even though my arms hurt from the strain of physical work, my gaze is firmly glued to Rai's back in hopes that he'll talk again or at least answer my question.

"I was", the silver cat suddenly says, but he says it very quietly as he sets the last cardboard box down. "Thanks for your help."

I bow my upper body and keep my eyes to the floor, like Dad has taught me to do. Sisa has been at war with one of our neighbouring lands - Taire - until a few months ago. We won the battle at last, but it was hard and many cats have died fighting for our country. Now, soldiers are returning home into the cities and villages all over Sisa, overjoyed to be reunited with their families. Dad, as Sisa's chief Sanga, has been one of the most important strategists in this war and it has been difficult, even for those of us who are in a safe zone. Somedays, Dad hasn't returned until late at night, with dark circles under his eyes and a frown on his face, mulling over something with a cup of tea by the kitchen table. I've never dared to approach him in those moments. I know that he hates his job sometimes. He has been forced to send young Sangas, sometimes his own students, to the war front to help our Tougas. And just when I have feared this whole war would throw him into the same depression as back then when Mom had died, he brought Leaks home with him.

I scowl at the thought, but hesitantly raise my gaze.

Rai is staring at me with an unreadable expression, like he's trying to figure out what he should think of the boy who has insulted him harshly just minutes ago and is now standing in the middle of his hallway, bowing to him.

"What are you doing there?", he asks and his voice sounds so stern that I immediately shrink down even further.

I remember the words Dad has drilled into my head a few weeks ago when he took me to a meeting of the council some high-ranked sergeants and officers would also be attending.

_"Those men have risked their lives out there for our safety. Be sure to pay them your respects."_

I hid behind him for the rest of that evening, barely doing anything but introducing myself to Dad's work colleagues and wanting to go home. I remember those tall, brooding cats with bulky figures, grim faces and tanned skin, some with fresh or old scars running across their faces or necks. I hate myself for being so easily intimidated, but I can't help it. I'm a small breed - just like Dad himself, actually - and almost every cat in my life is at least a few inches taller than me. Looking at Rai, he must be one of the tallest cats I've ever seen - Setsuran or Kiran breed, I take a guess. Those villages are famous for their large, well-trained cats, I know that much from Dad. He has been getting offers to pair up with a Setsuran or Kiran Touga a lot since the war has started four years ago, but he always refuses, saying that he can't tie himself to someone for the sake of fighting when he has to fulfill his duties as chief Sanga in Ransen - and as my father.

Noticing that my thoughts are trailing off and that Rai has actually asked me a question, I jolt back to reality and shake my head a little, confused.

"I... I was just..."

My cheeks are _burning,_ I can feel it. With a frustrated mewl, my tail lashes left and right. Why can't I just keep up a normal conversation with this man? But before I can turn around and storm off in a fury, I suddenly hear a sound that keeps me in place like heavy shackles tied around my feet.

Rai is laughing.

Well, chuckling to be exact, but it's a noise that enchants me like a spell. His healthy eye is closed halfway and sparkles mischievously, like the one of a boy who has just stolen the cherries from his neighbours yard.

"Such a temper", he mutters and can barely contain the next fit of chuckles. "I wonder..."

I can't even think fast enough to understand what's going on when he already has grasped my neck with one hand, squeezes it and lowers his head down to my ears.

"A-Ah! Stop!", I cry out in horror when I feel my body going limp in his grip.

Is he seriously scruffing me? He's a stranger, I don't even know him! Panic surges from my chest, wraps around my throat like an iron brace, squeezes the air from me and I desperately try to breathe through the fear. Hot tears are slowly rising into my eyes.

"Dad!", I try to yell, but my voice is nothing more than a choked whisper.

And just when I think it can't get any worse, there's a warm, wet sensation brushing my left ear. I scream, try to struggle and kick, but Rai remains silent and continues to drag the rough surface of his tongue across my fur. I'm sobbing by now, but the tears won't fall. They keep blurring my eyes along with the lack of air while Rai carefully, almost gently grooms my ear, all while keeping my neck firmly grasped in his hand.

He's careful not to use his claws, though, I notice through the pain of suffocating on my own voice.

And...

It feels good.

It feels so good.

But it's _wrong!_

I am helpless in his hold, lifeless like a doll and dropped down against his body all while he dips his tongue into my ear, drags his teeth across the edge of it and purrs so low that I feel the vibrations reaching down into my deepest depths. Then, suddenly, as if the sound has shaken me awake, I flinch and the strenght returns to my limbs.

"Hmm? Still a little rebel, aren't you?", Rai whispers when my claws dig into his shirt and skin and soft flesh.

He doesn't hiss or complain about the pain or the blood that starts soaking the black fabric covering his chest or the scratch marks that I sure as hell have left on him. Breathing heavily, I back away and stare at him with a mixture of surprise at my own violent reaction, anger and fright.

"W-What do you think you're doing?", I yell with trembling voice.

But then, I don't even dare to wait for an answer, just bolt out of the house, over into our driveway and to the front door.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

Saturday morning is cloudy and surprisingly cool for this time of the year. Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and enjoy the fresh morning air that strokes my skin and hair while I stand on the balcony of my room and stare at the meadows and forests spread out behind our house. The outskirts of Ransen are calm and silent, only the singing of the usual birds echoes through the morning air. Dad is preparing breakfast already and I've decided to wait outside until he's done. After yesterday, I don't want to be alone with anybody, even if it's just Dad. While I let my thoughts wander to calm down, the sound of a door opening catches my attention, but it's not coming from behind me - it's the backdoor of the house next to ours and even though I don't want to look, I have to.

Rai slowly wanders into the garden, clad in a black and blue leather gear and to my surprise, he has two swords strapped to his back with a set of belts. And while I still stand there in horror, realizing that he could've literally slaughtered me yesterday with only one strike of those blades, he slowly starts to get into fighting stance. I've seen it before on the Tougas that are being trained at our school - it's one of the standard positions. But when he starts practicing for real, I notice that he is not at all like them. Sure, when they're having a good day, they sometimes manage a quite presentable show, but _this_ \- this is something different.

He moves like his whole body, like the two swords don't weigh a _thing,_ his fighting looks like a morbid dance with his hair billowing behind him like a veil of silver and I just _have_ to watch. Rai turns and twists his body, swings both blades and lashes his tail. My eyes are glued firmly to him, follow his every movement, every twitch of his ears. Why am I so spellbound when it comes to him? Yeah, he's so strong and fast, nobody I know would probably be able to keep up with him in a fight, but that's not really a reason, is it? I wonder if he has a Sanga? A strong fighter like him must get lots of offers...

"Konoe, breakfast is ready!"

Dad's voice jerks me out of the depths of my mind and I turn around. He's standing in the doorway to my room with a slightly worried expression plastered across his face.

"Konoe, this is the third time that I'm calling you. Didn't you hear me?", he asks.

I feel the blood rising into my cheeks and clutch the railing beneath my hands even harder.

"Sorry", I whisper meekly and droop my ears. "I'm coming."

Dad sighs and rests one hand on his narrow hips. He's got that patronizing look in his eyes again and I can _feel_ that he's preparing a whole lecture about how important it is to communicate with eachother, so I quickly squeeze past him and hurry down the stairs. Dad follows me and we both take a seat. My gaze keeps wandering over to the large bay window that shows our garden and a part of the adjoining one while I eat and in case Dad notices, he doesn't say anything, just empties his plate in silence. When we're done, he looks up and suddenly, a smile tugs at his pale lips.

"Do you have any plans for today?", Dad asks softly.

I look at him in surprise. It's been a long time since he's asked me this and it gets me quite suspicious. For a moment, I don't even know how to answer, but then my brows furrow.

"Isn't Leaks going to come by later on, anyway?", I mutter and lower my gaze to my silverware, toying with the knife. "I think I'll just stay in my room or... or I'll go over to Tokino's place and play videogames with him."

Dad's face darkens a little, but his smile doesn't vanish.

"No, Leaks isn't visiting today. I thought, we could spend some time together like we used to do on the weekends. Maybe go for a walk and then play some board games. If you're up to it, we can train a little bit, too. I really don't want you to feel like I value him more than you. You're my son, Konoe, and I love you. Nobody and nothing is ever going to change that. I know that it's probably boring for a teenager like you to hang out with his father, but I really miss spending time with you."

His voice quiets down a little, but he keeps looking me in the eye and I swallow hard. That... that was sweet of him. And I'd really love to spend the day with him again, just like before he met Leaks.

"Y-Yes", I answer hesitantly and mirror his shy smile. "I'd like that very much."

Dad looks actually relieved that I agree and he reaches over to gently scratch the tip of my ear. The feeling of Rai's tongue returns in a flash and I back away, dodging his hand. He frowns.

"Are you still upset with me?"

Not daring to tell him what happened, I shake my head and get up to brush off the uncomfortable sensation.

"No, I'm not. Let's go while it's still cool outside."

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

The walk is wonderful. Just lazily talking about God and the world is one of the greatest things to do with Dad because eventually, his voice always adapts this tone, this melody that rises and falls and his laughter can lure all birds from their trees. I wish, I was as talented as he is. If I were a Sanga like him, I'd have much more chances on finding a job later on, but it looks like I'll have to start wrapping my head around the idea of an ordinary life. But Dad is having none of that. He keeps talking about training, about how he has realized that he's been pushing me too hard lately, and that we can try again today. I listen intently and nod along to his cheerful rambling. The moon of light has come out and now, the air is starting to heat up - it promises to become a warm summer day.

"Why don't we get some training done right when we come home?", Dad suddenly chimes and smiles at me from the side. "Like that, you wouldn't have to do it during the hottest part of the day."

I agree and we slowly make our way back to the house. While Dad goes to choose whichever instrument he wants me to play today, I already stroll into our back yard without a second thought. Suddenly, my heart leaps and I freeze on the spot.

Rai is still training.

Rays of light dance across his skin, make the thin sheen of sweat covering his body shimmer like a coat of silver - almost as silver as his hair. At some point, the heat must've made him strip off his shirt and I have a perfect view of his shoulders, arms and upper body. The blood starts boiling in my veins like lava and just as I'm about to rush back inside to hide my blushing face, Dad joins me in the garden. He tilts his head to the side, smiles and reaches out the golden lyra towards me.

"Now, let's get to practice."

"D-Dad... I don't think-"

He pushes the lyra into my hands and pats my shoulder, not minding my weak protests at all.

"Let's see, what shall we play today? I thought about something slow. We've used to play fast, upbeat music, maybe something calmer will trigger your song."

My fingers literally shake when I string the first tunes and try to keep my eyes on the golden instrument in my hands, but I can't. I just _can't_ when Rai is training only a few feet away from me. Dad starts to scowl when he notices my gaze drifting off to the side second by second and my rhythm starts wavering.

"Konoe, concentrate!", he calls out softly. "Here, I'll show you the rhythm again."

And like he's done when I was a kit, he starts swaying his tail to the exact beat of the song I'm playing. Somehow, the enchanting movement of the orange ball of fluff captures my attention enough to distract me for a brief moment and the music starts to flow more evenly, but only as long as Dad needs to spot Rai. Once more, he smiles and nods at him.

"Good morning. I see you're up to train already too?"

I hold my breath and wait, hoping Rai will answer just as curtly as yesterday and go back inside, but today, he seems much too sociable for my liking. The sound of two swords being sheated carries over to my ears and they twitch, once, twice.

"I thought I better get to work before it turned even hotter. I see you're working on his song?"

His voice is still cold like ice, but it sounds strange - like he's completely hypnotized by something. And then, I feel his searing glare on my back and neck, wandering over my ears and making them flush burning hot. His breath, that has been calm and barely audible even though he's probably been training for a good two hours, suddenly becomes ragged and uneven.

"Yes", Dad replies happily. "Konoe is so talented, I really hope his song will awake soon. Sadly, we haven't had any luck yet. What about you, if I may ask? Such a strong Touga like you must surely have a wonderful Sanga."

He sounds excited like a little child while all I really want is to dig myself a hole, crawl into it and die. My face feels like it's burning up!

"I don't", Rai suddenly says very quietly. "I... haven't had a Sanga for a few years now."

Dad frowns.

"You fought the war without a Sanga?", he asks.

Nobody moves. My ears are still warm and my palms sweaty, the lyra almost slips from my grip, but I don't dare to go inside.

"I didn't want to lose someone."

The words drill into my head like a screwdriver. Rai's voice is so low and expressionless that I almost want to look at him to make sure he's okay. Dad sighs and I see him nod from the corner of my eye.

"I wish more people had that attitude. If I ever let Konoe here pair up with a Touga, I'd definitely want him to be with someone like you - an experienced fighter who thinks of a Sanga as something precious, not just the means to an end", he speaks softly.

Suddenly, Rai jerks away, takes a few steps back and looks to the ground. His hands are clutching the belt of his swords and they're... _shaking._ I carefully turn my head a little further towards him and his silver fur bristles like he's just been electrocuted.

"I really need to get going now. Have a nice day."

With this short Goodbye, he disappears back into his house. Dad looks after him in surprise for a moment, but then just shrugs and looks back at me.

"He seems to be in quite a hurry. Why don't we try training a little longer?"

But just as he says this, the doorbell rings and I'm up and gone to answer it faster than Dad can tell me to. When I open the front door, Tokino, Aoba, Clear and Ren beam at me and I thank all Gods for those heavenly saviours who grab my arm and tell me to come along with them to spend some time at the park.

"Dad, I'm leaving with the guys!", I call out over my shoulder and see him nod at me with a smile.

This is the first time in _ages_ that he lets me go without inquiring about where we're going or who's coming along. I jump down the three stairs of the front porch and follow my friends to the wooden gate in the fence.

I don't tell them about the burning glare I feel between my shoulderblades as we pass the window of the house nextdoor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Light Non-Con Touching!

Too bright.

My eyes hurt, my ears hurt, my head hurts and my whole body hurts. I shouldn't have had so many drinks yesterday. Am I really _this_ hungover from a night out? The light that makes it past the curtains is golden and warm, just like it should be at this time of the year. Groaning, I roll over - only to find my already aching shoulders slamming into the ground. With a pained outcry, I bolt up and feel my forehead crash against something.

"Damn!", I mutter and bring one hand up to check if I'm bleeding.

"Good morning, kitten."

Someone chuckles and I sense a warm, familiar presence entering the room. Something is placed down on the coffee table I've just bumped my head on and then, the person offers me their hand.

"You were having a good night from what I've heard yesterday. Hopefully, everything was okay?"

Dad's expression is gentle but a bit of seriousness is hiding behind it. It's the question he always asks since the one time me and Tokino have barely managed to safe Aoba from two guys who'd been trying to drag him out of the club. After that, Dad lectured me about always watching my drink and never ever leaving the group of friends I'd gone out with in the first place.

_"Sangas are wanted."_

That's what he told me back then and it still sticks to me until this day. Aoba is a Sanga - he's a beautiful man, his voice is the most enchanting sound I've ever heard before and wherever he goes, he's got the Tougas chasing his luscious blue tail like kids hunting after a butterfly. He's not even doing it on purpose, but whenever he laughs, whenever he sighs and curls his pink lips into a smile, everyone in the room stares at him. Very distracting when we are in class, very distracting when we're at the club. He can barely get out onto the dancefloor without getting groped and touched and dragged around. One time, a few guys even started a fight over him.

I'm really starting to think Aoba is the more talented Sanga here. He can sing really well and I've seen him perform a couple of times already. This blue halo that emits from his body, the powerful fall and rise of his voice - it's beautiful. I can see why everybody is after him. Still... will my song be the same? Will it look as wonderful as his one does? _Am_ I even a Sanga? Dad always says I am, but... there's never been any proof to it.

"Everything was okay, Dad", I answer softly and reach out for the glass of water he's brought me and down the cool liquid at once.

He sits down on the couch next to me, crosses his legs and smiles while gently bringing one hand up to my neck.

"Do your ears hurt?"

A laugh follows my sheepish nod and Dad starts carefully, very carefully massaging the bases of both of my ears. I shriek in pain, but he tackles me to the couch like a kitten, keeps me down with his whole weight and continues to caress my ears, this time with his tongue. Slowly, the ache starts to trickle down the back of my head and my neck like it's melting ice, and eventually, it fades completely. I stop struggling. Dad chuckles against my cheek, gives it a rough lick and sighs.

"Don't drink too much next time, okay?", he whispers and the affection that's seeping from his voice leaves a sweet taste in my mouth.

"Yes, Dad."

Again, he smiles, nuzzles my hair and I relax against his warm body.

"What about we train again today?", he asks after a while of silence. "You ran off so suddenly yesterday, we didn't even get to finish our session."

I can barely mewl in protest when Dad already pulls me upwards and towards the backdoor.

"Daaad!", I complain half-heartedly, but then I let him take the lead and sit down beneath the tall oak tree while he rushes back inside to get one of the instruments from his collection.

As I try to shield my eyes from the grell light, my gaze also wanders to the yard next to ours - only to make out the tall, now too familiar figure that's moving swiftly, fluidly, beautifully across the grass, swinging two shimmering blades. Suddenly, the whole motions come to a halt and the person stands perfectly still for a few moments. Then, I see them approaching. Their shadow falls over my face and I blink, lifting my gaze to look at them.

"Will you be training again today?"

Rai's voice is like it always is - cool, smooth and hard like steel. He's resting both elbows on the fence as he stares at me with his icy blue eye and I quietly nod at him, not trusting my voice enough to form words.

"You're talented. I can feel it", he says quietly. "But it's not the music you're singing with, it's not your voice."

The suspicious question _"Why would you know?"_ is already lingering at the tip of my tongue when Dad's appearance in the doorway stops me. He sighs and raises one hand to his chin, tapping it thoughtfully.

"I've always suspected that."

His voice sounds... sad. Almost a little disappointed. And his tail lowers, too, like it always does when he's upset about something. Is that something bad? If I'm not singing with my voice like Aoba or a musical instrument like Dad... then what am I supposed to sing with? Before I can ask, Rai suddenly moves, swings his body over the fence with a graceful movement and his eye flares up in passion.

"Let me train him. I can see it in his every step and movement, he's so strong! I'm aware that we've only known eachother very briefly, not even enough to be anything but neighbours, but please, leave his training to me."

He is trembling like an excited kitten, even his tail and ears are quivering, his fur stands on end. Dad looks him up and down a little hesitantly, then his gaze wanders over to me. I'm watching this whole scene with furrowed brows, trying to figure out what's even going on. Rai is a Touga - why would a Touga train a Sanga? What could he possibly know about singing other than how to use the song during a fight?

"I don't know", Dad mutters and I can hear the unsureness in his words. "I don't reckon you have bad intentions regarding Konoe, but to simply hand his power over to a stranger..."

My power? Handing over? Those words make me bristle my fur at once and I hastily clamber to my feet, slip past Rai and towards Dad. He turns his head, a little surprised when I duck into the veil of his long, bright red hair and scowl at the silver cat from my safe hiding spot.

"Will my opinion count in this conversation or is it senseless for me to ask what you are discussing?"

Even though my eyes remain firmly glued to Rai's looming figure, the question is directed at Dad. He sighs softly and his tail twitches against my bare forearm, calming and reassuring.

"Be patient with him", Dad says apologetically. "He's not really used to the presence of a Touga like you."

Rai doesn't answer, but I feel his eye on me, feel him drinking up every last detail about me and suddenly, my breathing becomes laboured. I feel like he's ripping me apart, inspecting my bones and insides piece by piece, with his gaze alone! Whimpering from the unfamiliar sensation, I press up even closer against Dad and squeeze my eyes shut as hard as I possibly can.

_Make him go away, make him stop looking at me, make him stop staring..._

"I know that he's young, but there's so much strenght in him already, it's impossible to let it go to waste!", Rai suddenly argues.

Dad looks down at me, then back at Rai and a troubled expression sneaks onto his face. He bites his lip, rakes one hand through his hair, growls and finally fluffs out his fur in exasperation.

"Under one condition: my constant surveillance. You could easily overwork Konoe in your enthusiasm."

Rai nods faster than he can possibly have processed the full extent of the proposition, his gaze never really leaves me. Dad's tail wraps around my wrist as he reaches out his hand and smiles nervously.

"It will be a pleasure to know my son in such experienced hands. Thank you for offering your precious time."

The silver cat takes a step forward, takes the offered hand and bows down with a fluid movement.

"Thank _you_ for entrusting him to me. I will try my best to teach him well", he says quietly.

Then, he carefully lifts his head to look straight at me. I feel the embarrassment seething right beneath my skin as I stare back, wide-eyed and frozen, unable to move or to say something, anything at all. Rai's face stays stern for a moment, but soon after, a pained sigh leaves his lips.

"You seriously need to stop looking at me like this", he whispers only for me to hear, then he raises his voice. "Will you do me the honor to train with me?"

My whole body is shaking violently. Dad gently touches my arm, nudges me forward.

"Be polite, Konoe. I'm sure it will do you good to spend some time with such a great Touga. You don't have to be afraid, I'll watch all of your training sessions."

Before I know it, my hand is wrapped up in a much larger, cooler one and Rai towers over me with an almost welcoming smile. I feel like I'll faint every second.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

"Dancing?"

My screech is probably audible all through the city and if Dad hadn't grabbed me by the collar, I would've been out the door the second I've been informed of what Rai has planned for me. I can't dance! I don't even dare to dance when I'm out with my friends! No, no, no and no again! No way I'm going to _dance!_

"Konoe, please stop acting like a kitten", Dad mutters accusingly and pulls me back into the spacious living room where Rai is waiting with both arms crossed in front of his chest. "There is absolutely nothing to run away from."

"Yes there is!", I scream back and fight against his grip with all my might. "I can't dance! I'm awful at dancing! Leave me alone, I'm not going to dance!"

But Dad is relentless. He shoves me towards Rai once more and smiles brightly.

"Again, please excuse him. He's a little shy when it comes to things like this."

"No problem at all."

The cool voice makes my cheeks flare up bright red and I shriek again when Rai moves towards me like a predator circling its prey.

"Why do you keep insisting that you can't dance?", he muses while Dad sits down on the red leather couch and carefully adjusts the lute in his lap. "Have you seen yourself move? You walk with a steady rhythm and even your tail sways at the exact same pace. Your hips, too."

_What?_

Now, it's not only embarrassment anymore but also anger that makes me bare my fangs and bristle my fur until every single hair on my body stands completely on end. Has he been looking at me like _that?_ Who does he think he is? Hissing and growling, I back away until I stand with my back against the nearest wall. Rai and Dad exchange a short look, then the silver cat chuckles and stalks closer again.

"And even _if_ you can't dance - I'm here to teach you, ain't I? That's the purpose of our deal."

My brain stops functioning for a moment when he's close enough for me to catch a whiff of his scent - it's hot and burns like whiskey in my nose, but it's equally delicious. I tremble when he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"Relax, kitten. You can't dance when you're stiff as a stick. Also, we really need to work on your posture. This won't be casual dancing. In the dances I am going to teach you, none of the partners slouches or leans against the other. Straighten your back and relax a little."

He keeps talking while both of his hands roam over my waist, sides, up to my shoulders and back down. I shiver, but try to collect all of my anger and glare daggers at him as I try to follow his instructions. Getting my back a little more straight is no problem, but relaxing against his body is impossible. It's like my muscles have decided to stay cramped out of protest.

"Right hand on my shoulder as well, kitten", Rai mutters while he adjusts his hold on me, either unaware of my vengeful glances or ignoring them on purpose.

Wait. I have to touch him too?!

My formerly hateful expression turns into one of complete and utter despair, but Rai just sighs with a smile, closes his eye and guides my hand into the correct position.

"Just like this. You're doing great."

I know he means well, but everything that comes from his mouth sounds like it's dripping with ridicule and I can't bring myself to feel good about it. So I just silently stare straight ahead and wish for it all to be over soon. Hopefully, he'll say that he's been wrong in a few minutes and tell Dad that I'm a hopeless case. My pride burns at the thought, but at least, then I wouldn't have to be in this miserable situation anymore.

"Those are a few basic steps you'll have to know. They can be a great aid in learning different dances, so you won't struggle as much with those. Just memorize the rhythm of one, two, three, and count at the exact same pace over and over again. I'll lead, so you won't have to worry about the turns", Rai explains and from the other side of the room, I hear Dad starting to play his lute.

The sound is beautiful - easy and light - and Rai starts to move, talking as he does. I can barely make out the words he's saying, but it doesn't matter. My body is following as he steps forward, my hand clutches his own so tightly that it just _has_ to hurt, but Rai doesn't say anything about it. He just keeps looking down at me so intensely that I feel like my skin is melting off. In contrast, the music makes my feet sway easily across the floor and I hesitantly raise my gaze.

"See? You're so powerful that I don't even need to tell you what to do", Rai whispers close to my right ear.

His breath tickles it and it twitches to the side and back while I nervously turn my head and miss one of the steps I'm probably supposed to make, but Rai fastens the pace for a moment, unfazed by my clumsiness, and saves me the humiliation of tripping.

"Don't blush, Konoe", he says quietly, staring across my shoulder. "Your ears turn pink when you blush."

"S-So what?", I stutter angrily, avoiding eye contact with him as well. "I can't help it when you force me to do something so embarrassing! And why would you even care?"

Rai cocks his head to the side. His expression doesn't change in the slightest until he suddenly leans forward just enough so his lips touch the tip of my ear. They feel cool against my heated skin and I almost kick him in the guts out of instinct.

"I care because if you don't stop blushing, I might just bite one of those gorgeous pink ears off."

My breath hitches in my throat and I freeze on the spot. Rai chuckles, bows his head down even further and I feel him nipping at the edge of my left ear, his billowing silver hair hides us from Dad's eyes.

"Get off of me!", I manage to breathe in panic, but Rai keeps ignoring my struggles, only his chest vibrates with deep laughter.

"Relax, I won't hurt you, kitten."

He sways his tail, grazes the short fur on my ear with his teeth again and moves down to the base of it. I whimper softly, scared by the sound of my own voice. Still, all of our movements stay in synch, fluid and easy to the melody of the lute Dad is still playing. Rai's warm, soft breath caresses the inside of my ear, runs down my spine and to the last nerve of my body until he abruptly steps back, releases me from his hold and bows down lightly.

"It's been an honor, Konoe."

His eye is still glinting as he turns around and starts talking to Dad, something about natural talent and further training, but I don't get another word. I just stand there, in the middle of the living room, staring at the twitching, snow white tail in front of me until Dad gets up from the couch, touches my shoulder and leads me outside. Once I'm back in my room, I drop down on the bed, hug one of the pillows to my chest and close my eyes.

The scent of whiskey still lingers everywhere in my mouth.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

College is boring.

Very, very boring.

I shouldn't think about school like this - midterms are coming up and I _really_ need to study, but focussing on my exercise sheet is hard when I know that I'll have to return home soon. It's past lunchtime and I haven't had time to grab something to eat yet, been trying to solve a few math problems during breaktime. Currently, I'm in the changing room of our gym with Aoba, waiting for the teacher - Verg - and the other students to show up for PE class. My eyes are closed and I lean back on the wooden bench I'm sitting on, dozing a little as I try to pass the time until class will start. Aoba is curled up in the seat beside me, almost asleep too. The tip of his lush tail is jerking, twitching left and right as he gently moves his lips. There's a strange feeling of serenity surrounding us.

If I had been here with Tokino, we probably would've snuck off to the library and slept through the class, but with Aoba, it's different. We both aren't very touchy people - more isolated, more suspicious and ready to stand our ground against others. Only certain people are allowed in our personal space. For me, it's Tokino. For Aoba... well. He hasn't got a best friend in particular, hasn't got anyone he really likes. Of course, we get along well, share our lunch boxes, go out together, stay over at eachother's houses, play soccer and basketball together or help eachother with our homework but I wouldn't say we are anything more than good friends. It's never just the two of us - either Tokino, Clear or Mizuki are always around too.

As I sink into my musings like this, there's a sharp sting in my ear and I jump with a hiss of pain. Aoba jolts too, rolls over and stares at something above me with a mixture of fright and anger.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing to Konoe?", he screams, clambers to his feet and ducks his upper body, ready to jump the stranger.

I'm still struggling beneath the sudden, heavy and hot weight on me, but the person holds me down and laughs darkly. When I hear the sound, my eyes widen and frenzied, I make my way out of the man's grasp.

"Are you actually _scared_ of me, kitten?", Rai asks as soon as I've shuffled over to Aoba, fur bristled, claws extended and fangs bared. "You're acting like you haven't been flirting with me for the past few days."

Flirting?

I'm ready to pounce, to mess up this unbelievable handsome face of his, but he backs away, giving me and Aoba more space to breathe easier. His ears move back and forth calmly, even his tail is swaying in a playful manner, like he's mocking us.

"Konoe, who is this?", Aoba asks with a deep growl in his voice, a fierce sound I've never heard from him before. "Who is this guy? Why is he _staring_ at you like this?"

I don't say anything, just eye Rai carefully from where I'm standing and watch as he crosses his arms in a completely relaxed motion, like he hasn't been tackling me just seconds ago.

"Just as snappy as I've been told", he sighs and moves his gaze from me to Aoba. "Why I'm looking at Konoe like I do is none of your business, even though I'm here only for you. Come with me."

Aoba shakes his head violently and I grasp his arm, ready to hold him back should he attempt to leave with Rai. I don't trust that cat with _anything!_

"Why me?"

Rai doesn't respond, just stares us down for a moment, then he turns his head towards the door and the motion is so captivating that I find myself starting to move towards it. Aoba, strangely enough, is just the same, but when Rai looks back at the two of us, we snap out of it.

"There's someone who's dying to see you. Are you coming now or not?"

Aoba snorts and raises his chin high, defensively fluffing out his already bushy tail.

"I can think of better ways to convince someone into going somewhere than to sneak up on them while they're resting, jumping and biting them, acting all bitchy and then expecting them to happily follow along", he snarls dangerously.

Before Rai - who looks quite stunned at the outburst - can even answer, voices grow loud outside the changing room and suddenly, the door bursts open, revealing two cats who look strangely alike.

"... re's absolutely no way you'll ever go back there, they can stick their money up their asses! I can earn enough for-"

The taller one, who has just been ranting about something, stops in his tracks and narrows his eyes at Rai's tall figure in the middle of the room, then he looks over to me and Aoba. We're standing close enough by the wall to probably look like frightened kittens, cornered by a rabid dog. He reacts faster than my eyes can follow, jumping forward and slamming Rai into the ground with enough force to crush bones.

"What have you done to Konoe and Aoba? Who are you? What are you doing here?", he bellows.

I've never heard him this angry before, I notice, horrified. Aoba is the same, but in contrary to us both, the smaller cat across the room bolts and grabs the man who's holding Rai down.

"Noiz, no!", he screams and drags his older brother off of the silverhaired man. "Stop it!"

Noiz frees himself from Theo's grip and swings his fist at Rai's jaw, but the taller cat avoids the blow and moves out of reach.

"I'm not here to fight", he states firmly and watches as Noiz keeps hissing at him, his cut and pierced ears flattening down in the most aggressive gesture I've ever seen on a cat. "I came here to help someone out, but I see that you aren't really worth all the things that have been done for you."

His last words are directed at Aoba, who now hesitantly looks from me to Rai in an unsure gesture, but before any of us can stop him, the silver cat leaves the room - but not before tickling my chin with the tip of his beautiful, white tail. Noiz, Theo and Aoba watch in disbelief as I blush beet red and lower my gaze to the ground while inside, I'm seething with something like anger, but not quite.

"We'll see eachother later, Konoe."

Those are the last words I hear from Rai before he completely vanishes down the hallway. Noiz straightens his back while staring after him, still breathing heavily. His hands are shaking.

"Are you okay?", Theo asks as he approaches us, his soft face is distorted with worrry. "Did he do anything to you?"

We shake our head simultaneously, but Aoba still looks a little thoughtful while we get changed and more and more students start to trickle into the room. Noiz stays unusually close to us this day. He's one of Aoba's many friends around campus, a strange guy with cuts, scars, bruises and bandages all over his body. Nobody knows where he gets them from, but after seeing him flip today, I have a good idea. Normally, he only talks to Aoba and his little brother - Theo - and many people talk of him as a lone wolf, but he's sometimes seen with a large group of people who look nothing like him. They're the wealthy type, arrogant and snobby. Noiz doesn't seem to fit in with them, but for some reason, he keeps them around.

The most catchy thing about him are his piercings, though.

His whole face is littered with them, his nape, his hands and belly too. Seriously, name a body part - he's got a piercing in it. His ears, also. They're full of metal parts, rings, silver balls and even a few hooks. One of his ears has a large cut in them, probably from a fight. As we all form a line for PE, he glares daggers at everyone who comes near Aoba and me, then turns back to us and scowls.

"What happened between you and that guy?", he asks me quietly enough for nobody else to hear. "What was he talking about back there?"

I shrug helplessly. I have no idea why Rai might have searched me and Aoba out like that. Or why he wanted Aoba to come with him. I know _nothing._ Just as I'm about to answer, our teacher marches into the gym and silences everybody with a quick once-over.

"Good afternoon, class", he calls out cheerily. "Today, we will practice our fencing techinques. Noiz, Mizuki, would you care to join me?"

Both men step forward without hesitation. They're often teamed up because their strenght actually makes a good match and Verg likes to use them as an example for the rest of us. He hands them their training swords and they get into the standard position while Verg steps in between them and rises one arm. Noiz tenses up visibly while Mizuki just watches our teacher, not bothered by the flashing blade pointed at him.

"Aoba?", Verg taunts with an almost evil smirk and I hear my friend swallowing hard. "Who would you like to sing for today?"

It's horrible to watch how Aoba shakes when he steps forward. He _hates_ singing in class, he hates it to the moon and back, but he can't refuse Verg. He's tried it once and never again. I still remember his tears and screams as Verg had dragged him over to the training area, had strapped him to an iron pole and had tortured him until the song had broken free from him, shielding him from the whip, from the beating and kicks until Aoba had broken down, sobbing and with bruised and bloodied wounds. After witnessing that, nobody has ever dared to talk back to Verg again. Some of us have reported it to the headmaster - but he hasn't done anything about it, he just shrugged at us and said that corporal punishment isn't prohibited at school.

"C-Can I... can I sing for Konoe today?", Aoba mutters with drooped ears and tail.

Verg clicks his tongue and sighs. One of his large hands rests on his hips and he cocks them to the side while his gaze, so soft yet so dangerous, rests on Aoba.

"Really now, Aoba. You should know that I want you to choose between Noiz and Mizuki for this demonstration. I want you all to see what happens when a Touga has the unrestricted power of a Sanga on his side."

Those last words are meant for the whole class and some of us nod eagerly because even if they know that Aoba hates to sing in front of us, they love seeing his song and I can't even blame them. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Aoba closes his eyes and then opens them - staring straight at Noiz, who meets his gaze and nods faintly.

"The Sanga has chosen", Verg states happily and claps his hands. "Okay, boys, _en garde!"_

Both Noiz and Mizuki tense up and grip their swords tighter.

_"Êtes-vous prêts?"_

Verg's voice booms through the gym, the cats next to me start to fidget. The Tougas nod at eachother.

 _"Allez!",_ Verg yells and steps back to avoid getting in between the two blades lashed at eachother.

They clash against eachother, evoke sparks flying and Noiz and Mizuki start fighting for real while Aoba watches in absolute horror, knowing that he will have to sing sooner rather than later or he'll face punishment for not obeying.

"You can see, they're equals in a normal fight", Verg explains as he carefully rounds the two fighting cats. "But if we count the power of a Sanga like Aoba in, it's a completely different matter."

His differently-coloured eyes fixate Aoba, almost nail him to the wall behind us and I see beads of sweat shining on my friend's forehead while Noiz and Mizuki struggle to get the upper hand over the other. Then, Aoba parts his lips and I see that his voice won't come out, no matter how hard he tries. He's scared and so am I. If he supports Noiz with his strenght now, the two of them could deal harsh damage to Mizuki, unwanted or not. Being in that situation of power must be horrible.

Aoba manages a few husky whispers and finally, the song bursts from his throat like a thunderstorm, a blue glow fills the air around him and his hair sways like waves of the ocean.

_"I wonder if my name_  
_has ever crossed your mind_  
_even for a second_  
_since the last time we stood eye to eye._  
_I miss those long drives_  
_and late nights,_  
_staring at your smile that's_  
_making me fall harder_  
_than the first time we stood eye to eye."_

His singing is so beautiful that it robs me of my breath and I stand and stare, feeling its power throb deep in my chest as if he's reaching straight for me. But unlike usual, the tendrils of beautiful light that emit from his body don't move towards the fighting Tougas - they reach over to the windows high above us, pour through the glass and suddenly, Aoba gasps, sinks to his knees and even Verg looks concerned for once.

"What's going on?", someone whispers, shocked.

Mizuki and Noiz have stopped fighting and both turn to look at Aoba, who's doubling over with tears in his eyes. But when Verg kneels down next to him and places one hand on his shoulder, worriedly checking on him, Aoba starts to sob and shakily climbes to his feet. The blue halo around him is still glowing faintly, enough to keep a steady, pulsing rhythm.

"Aoba!", Noiz calls out and tries to rush over, but he doesn't even get the chance.

Before anyone can react or stop him, Aoba storms out of the gym and back into the changing room. Me and Noiz bolt after him at full speed, but he's always been fast and now, something seems to be so horribly wrong that he's out of sight before either of us can catch up to him.

"Aoba!", we scream in unison, hectically looking left and right as we run down the school corridors, chasing after the veil of blue hair.

Just as we burst out the front door and into the school yard, we spot him right in front of us. He's standing at the bottom of the short flight of stairs, trembling all over. His gaze is glued to someone - a tall man with dark hair and to my surprise, I spot Rai close to the guy, standing there with crossed arms and lowered ears. As Aoba stares at the man, his light blue glow starts to get stronger, pulses harder and then, the stranger makes a hesitant step towards the stairs.

"Aoba?", he asks with shaky voice, takes another step and yet another and suddenly, he dashes forward with a scream, wraps both arms around Aoba's lithe figure and spins him in a circle. "Aoba, it's you!"

The halo engulfs them both as the tears keep falling from Aoba's eyes and he tucks his face into the man's neck, sobbing violently.

"You're back!", I can hear him whisper. "You're finally back, Koujaku!"

His legs give out once more and both sink to their knees, still wrapped up in eachother, tails curled around the other's hips and waist, hands digging into fabric to stay as close as possible. Noiz and I watch from above as the darkhaired man gently pushes Aoba back, wipes his cheeks and mutters something inaudible, but it makes them both smile.

That's when I see the golden adornment on the shoulder of the cat that looks so similar to the one Rai is wearing.

He's an officer, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fencing vocabulary:
> 
>  _En garde_ = Get ready  
>  _Ėtes-vous prêts?_ = Are you ready?  
>  _Allez!_ = Fence!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> Light Non-Con Touching!

"Who is this guy?", Noiz snarls next to me and I feel the fur on my neck rising as well.

Before I can answer, though, Noiz starts walking down the stairs and towards Aoba, who is still curled up in the lap of this strange man. They talk too quietly for us to understand what they are saying, but I can see the smile on Aoba's face, the shaking of his hand as he reaches up to brush the man's cheek and carefully traces the scar across the bridge of his nose.

"Aoba!", Noiz calls out in irritation and his steps become swifter. "What are you doing there?"

Finally, Aoba jerks his head up and looks at us, then he turns back and whispers something into the beautiful, midnight blue ears of the tall cat and slowly gets up. The man follows along.

"Konoe, Noiz", Aoba says with a weak smile. He reaches one hand back and the dark cat takes it without hesitation. His eyes are of a warm crimson and he smiles softly. "I want you two to meet Koujaku. He's... he's..."

Obviously at loss for words, he turns bright red, but the cat called Koujaku moves up behind him, wraps both arm around his waist and pulls him closer.

"I'm Aoba's boyfriend", he whispers huskily and nuzzles the silky blue ears that stand out from my friend's hair.

Noiz flares up at those words and I jump when he suddenly starts to growl and stiffens his slender tail. Both me and Aoba jolt and I can barely take a step back when strong arms suddenly encircle me and drag me backwards.

"Stay away from him, Konoe. He's dangerous."

Rai's deep voice is stern and unreadable like always and only when I realize that he's _holding_ me, I start fighting against his grip while Noiz and Koujaku stare at eachother with blazing eyes and bristled fur.

"Who's the beansprout there, Aoba? Is this guy bothering you?", Koujaku asks, a growl slowly rises from the depths of his throat.

I've heard this tone before on so many occasions - cats defending their mates, their Sangas or children. Noiz' fangs flash in the golden afternoon light.

"Don't call me that, you giant idiot."

They look like they'll jump eachothers throat any second now. Rai releases me from his hold and bolts forward just in time to catch Koujaku's arm and keep him from beating Noiz into the ground. They fight among themselves for a moment, then the bluehaired cat lowers his twitching tail and slowly turns away with an irritated click of his tongue.

"Seriously, you're the older one here", Rai says, breathing heavily, before he lets go of Koujaku. "Stop acting like a kitten in heat and leave the boy alone. We didn't come here to beat up minors, did we? Get yourself together!"

"Fine. Aoba, let's go", Koujaku mutters and gently brushes Aoba's bright blue tail with one hand.

I see him shiver and blush. Aoba has always been easy to fluster, but I've never seen his cheeks so red. This man must be someone special, then. Boyfriend, right? Aoba never said anything at all about a boyfriend and I don't remember having heard the name Koujaku before either.

"D-Don't touch me like this!"

Aoba's voice is near a shriek, but Koujaku just laughs a deep, husky laugh and wraps one arm around the trim shoulders of the bluehaired cat, the other around his legs and picks him up with ease.

"Fight me for it", he teases and I hear Rai chuckling behind me.

Suddenly, one of his arms is wrapped around my waist again and he squeezes my much smaller body against his hard chest.

"We should do that too sometimes, kitten. What do you say?", he whispers directly into my ear, scaring the living hell out of me.

"Let go of me!", I hiss and ram my elbow into his side, but he just laughs and dodges the hit while I throw every kind of curse I know at his head.

"Really, those two are quite something", Koujaku laughs and throws an amused gaze at me as I continue to bite and scratch at Rai's arm that's still holding me. "Doesn't it hurt?"

The silver cat behind me probably shakes his head, I can't really see him. The only part of him in my sight is the black and blue gear that's covering his forearm and the tip of a swaying white tail that coils around my right thigh. The bitter taste of tanned leather on my tongue is disgusting, but I continue to close my jaws around his wrist. Rai chuckles.

"Those tiny fangs of him barely break my skin. I'm starting to see what you like about small breeds. Easily overpowered and absolutely adorable when they're embarrassed."

Adorable? That's _it!_ Growling and fighting with all my might, I finally manage to escape from Rai and take a few steps forward to get as far away as possible before he's able to grab me again.

"Konoe!", I hear three voices calling out with the same urgency, but I don't stop.

Instead, I turn around and start to run. My whole body trembles, my pulse is on fire beneath my skin. Someone is coming after me, but their steps fade into the distance and I know that I'm faster. I've always been fast. And I'm definitely fast enough to outrun a cat like Rai or Koujaku.

"Konoe, no!", a deep voice yells, shocked. "Stop! Come back here!"

Just as those words reach my ears, a flash of light hits me straight in the face and a deafening noise makes me freeze on the spot. Completely still, I stare at the large, dark thing that's rushing towards me, ready to crush me beneath its weight.

Until suddenly, something slams into my side, shoves me out of reach and I trip, roll over and feel a heavy warmth collapsing on top of me. I can barely breathe.

"I told you to come back, you idiot!", Rai pants, dragging his arm across the rough pavement to pull me closer.

The shaking gets stronger and stronger until my teeth are chattering and only now, I feel the scratches and bruises and the pain in my shoulder and leg.

"R-Rai, what... what w-was that?"

"A car. Just a car. Nothing else but a car, but it could've killed you. Damn it, Konoe! You need to start listening to me, you could be dead right now!"

He sits up and when he drags me along, I feel that he's trembling too. For a moment, Rai just stares at me, then he throws both arms around me and holds me against his body. One of his hands shakily starts to stroke my hair.

"For fucks sake, don't ever do something like this again", he groans and buries his face in my neck. "Come on, I'm taking you home for today."

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

Dad opens the front door with a look of surprise on his face that changes to sheer panic when he sees me. Do I really look this horrible?

"Konoe!", he whimpers and carefully takes my arm from Rai's shoulder. "Oh my God, what happened to you? Did you get into a fight? Did somebody attack you? Are you alright?"

He continues to fuss over me as I limp into the living room and drop down onto the couch with a pained mewl. Rai follows closely behind me, his gaze is stern and hard.

"He almost got hit by a car", he says quietly and sits down by my side on the edge of the couch. "I barely managed to push him out of the way in time. It's my fault that he's hurt - I was the one who caused him to get upset and run off in the first place."

His silver hair sways slightly as he lowers his head and Dad looks at him in surprise and suspicion.

"What? What did you do?", he asks, alarmed. "Konoe, what did Rai do to you?"

I groan and bury my face in the pillows beneath me, trying to hide from Dad. He kneels down beside me, strokes my cheek and gently scratches the base of my left ear.

"Konoe, please talk to me. I can't help you if you start sulking now. Did Rai hurt you?"

"No", I mutter after a while, but my voice is muffled. "He didn't."

Dad sighs in relief and his grip around my ear tightens. I peer up at him and he smiles softly while getting up again.

"Do you think you've broken any bones? I think, I can treat the scratches here at home, but if you feel like something is wrong, tell me and I'll take you to the hospital."

I shake my head again and bury myself even deeper in the cushions. A strange noise leaves Rai's throat, a mix between a growl and a purr, and even though I don't really want to, I crack one eye open.

"I'm sorry, Konoe."

Rai leans down and grazes my cheek with his lips, then he silently stands up and leaves without a sound.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

A few days have passed and I haven't seen Rai much. Sometimes at night when the heat is getting to me, I leave my bed in favour of spending a little time on the balcony, just to cool off for a while and one time, in the middle of the night, I could've sworn I've seen him sitting by the backdoor of his garden. Tokino and Noiz keep pestering me to tell them who the mysterious silver cat is, but I refuse to.

I still don't know it myself, either.

Who _is_ Rai? My neighbour? My teacher? A Touga who is strangely affectionate towards me? I don't know. I just don't know.

Sighing, I slump down in my seat, mentally preparing myself for another one of Tokino's interrogations, when the door to the classroom opens and a slender figure slips inside. Before I can lift my head to see who it is, Tokino already jumps to his feet and yells across the classroom, so loud that I twitch my ears in irritation.

"Aoba!"

Aoba is here? He's been missing for quite a few days, too! I look up, only to see the bluehaired teenager approaching us with swift steps and a wide smile.

"Morning, Tokino, Konoe", he greets softly and throws his bag onto the chair next to me. "Sorry for not texting you at all, but... Koujaku barely left me alone for a second."

The blush on his face gives him away. Tokino whistles seductively and leans across his table, eyes glistening. He looks like he's starving to know more.

"Tell me everything", he purrs and the agitation is clearly audible from his voice. "I've heard quite the story about a knight in a red kimono who came and carried you off like Prince Charming did with his princess."

Aoba turns his head to the side, shrugs and licks his lips while he nervously tugs at the light blue, silky scarf around his neck that matches his hair so well.

"There's... there's nothing to tell, really. Koujaku is... a childhood friend. He left to join the army a few years ago and... I haven't seen him in such a long time, we just wanted to catch up."

I can barely contain my laughter when Tokino smirks and Aoba blushes even harder, if that's even possible.

"Did said _"catching up"_ involve getting rid of all your clothes and letting that childhood friend of yours leave love bites all over your neck that you so desperately try to hide?", my best friend asks, innocently enough to clear the sky of all clouds.

"W-What?", Aoba squeaks and tugs the scarf tighter. "I thought... I thought..."

"You thought your two best friends won't notice that you're crazy in love?", Tokino interrupts him with a smile, and while me and him burst out laughing, Aoba buries his face in both hands and whimpers softly.

"Hey, that's completely okay", I try to console him and gently nudge his shoulder. "It's great that you have someone you like. And Koujaku... he looks like a nice person. If he treats you right, then it's fine."

Aoba raises his gaze to look at me like he can't believe my words, but then smiles shyly and nods. Before we can say anything else, the door opens once more and someone enters - a large creature, clad in glossy black and green.

"Good morning, everybody", Froud greets us smoothly and places his bag down with an eerie smile. "I hope, you all are doing great?"

The class mutters a quiet _"Good morning"_ in response and he goes back to talking about biology. I haven't paid attention in his class for a few lessons now, and now I'm completely at loss, staring down at my notes with a frown. Aoba sighs and opens his notebook too to let me copy down the important stuff. I thank him with a quick purr and a nuzzle to his neck - only to be hit with the strongest scent I've ever noticed on him. Sure, sometimes he smells like Noiz or Clear or Ren, I know the scent of his twin brother and his parents, but this? I back off, my fur bristles and my eyes widen. Aoba looks at me, a little surprised, but I can't really explain why this scent is putting me off like that.

"Konoe? Can you answer my question?", a soft voice suddenly asks.

I jerk around, stare down at Froud and start to shrink in my seat. Question? What question? Tokino stays silent, doesn't even look at me. The whole class seems to have gone mute.

"I-I'm... I'm sorry, what was the question?", I mutter sheepishly.

The devil crosses both arms in front of his chest, smiles at me and tilts his head to the side.

"Konoe, you have been unpleasantly distracted for the past few days. Maybe the answer to the question is more obvious than you think? I asked you to tell me about the mating season. When does it begin and what are the early symptoms of going into heat?"

Heat creeps up from my chest to my face and all I really want is for the ground to open and swallow me whole right here, right now. As I duck my head down and refuse to respond, Froud laughs - a strange sound that freaks me out even more.

"Really, you are seventeen now, right? I expect a little more maturity from you all. The mating process is something natural and nothing to be ashamed of. Let me answer the question for you. With a few exceptions, cats go into heat around early spring and summer or autumn. If they mate, the heat lasts for four or six days, if not, the time can expand up to nine days. If you know someone well, you can clearly notice them going into heat. Calm cats get restless, agitated ones start to quiet down. Unregular sleeping patterns, irritability and of course arousal often make normal conversations impossible when the mating season comes near. Do you know more examples?"

Lucky me, this time, Froud dedicates the question to the whole class. Someone raises their hand and starts talking.

"They leave their scent on their mate, strong enough to scare off possible rivals."

Suddenly, my gaze is dragged over to Aoba, who has lowered his head, scribbling onto an empty page. He has a weak smile plastered across his face. Koujaku must've left his scent on him, that's what I've noticed earlier on!

"And they start craving physical affection. Many cats want to be touched more and they start touching their mate, too. Sometimes, they even do it unintentionally", another voice chimes in.

Physical affection... Is that what they call it? Having both hands all over eachother? I shiver when the memory of my first dancing lesson with Rai rises from the depths of my mind once more. The way he pulled me against his body a few days ago, how he hugged me after barely saving me from that car accident and how he kissed my cheek later on... Cold sweat starts trickling down my neck and back. Has Dad seen him kiss me? Have Aoba or Noiz noticed how he's been holding me? Oh shit. This is really starting to drive me crazy.

The air feels too stuffy to breathe anymore. I tug at the collar of my shirt, fidget in my seat. Tokino stares at me for a moment, then turns back to listen to Froud. But I can't sit still anymore - something is wrong. Aoba seems to be the same, because he starts moving his tail and ears relentlessly. The cats next to us throw us annoyed glances already, but I really can't help it!

Suddenly, there's a quiet knock at the door.

"Excuse me, please."

A tall, darkhaired cat takes a step inside and the piercing gaze from his crimson red eyes starts to wander across the rows of students looking at him in surprise. Only one of them reacts. Aoba gets up, leans forward and his tail starts flicking back and forth so quickly that I have trouble following the movement with my eyes.

"Koujaku!", he calls out and his voice sounds almost desperate.

Before Froud can say something, Aoba grabs his bag, slings the belt over his shoulder and rushes down the steps to meet his boyfriend. Koujaku holds out his arms and catches him mid-run. They share a brief kiss and even though Aoba is blushing like there's no tomorrow, he's the one trying to hold onto Koujaku as long as possible until his boyfriend carefully sets him back down and entwines their fingers.

"I told you not to go to class today", he mutters and with a last glare at Froud, who's now watching with a tiny smile on his pale, almost snow white lips, he drags Aoba out of the room.

As soon as the door falls shut behind them, our teacher turns towards us.

"And here we had the perfect example for two cats in heat. You see how possessive the dominant partner gets around his mate? If anyone of you had dared to hold Aoba-kun back, you would've probably walked out here with serious injuries. Never step in between two mated cats in heat."

His high-heeled boots make a bright clicking sound as he paces up and down in front of the blackboard. The glossy black of his tight suit shimmers slightly and it blinds my eyes. They are _burning_ from the light reflexes, even the quiet whispering of my classmates hurts in my ears.

_I wish I could go home too..._

Tokino's tail curls around my own while he keeps taking notes, but just the usually so comforting feeling of his presence makes me stiffen with disgust. Not right. This isn't right at all. And I don't even want to know why. With swift movements, I pack my bag and get up as well. Tokino leans over with a worried expression.

"Konoe, where are you going?", he asks quietly, but I don't respond, just hurry out of my seat and down to the door.

Froud doesn't even say anything as I leave the classroom as well.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

"This is the second time you've skipped class this week. I understand that Rai wanted to take you home after the accident, but today, you had absolutely no reason to leave early."

Dad's scolding isn't as bad as the sight of him holding Leaks' hand. I stare at them for a moment, then I march towards my room.

"No, I had no reason to leave early, but now I have a reason to go and throw up", I mutter under my breath, but Dad has heard me anyway.

"Might I ask what has gotten into you?", he hisses and shakes his head. "Behave, Konoe! Also, you will go over to Rai's place for another lesson today and since you're already here, you might as well go right now. And if I hear even a single word of complaint from you, I promise, I will ground you until you've turned twenty."

Scoffing, I throw my bag into a corner and stare him down with ice cold eyes. He promised me Leaks won't come over for a while! If they really have to meet up, why doesn't he visit that idiot in his apartment? But fine, if he wants me to go over to Rai, I'll do that. Feels like our new neighbour cares more about me than he does, anyway.


	5. Chapter 5

"You're here early."

Rai looks down at me almost a little suspiciously, and even more so after my jaw drops. His silver hair is tied into a messy ponytail, leaving his face uncovered, his slender neck exposed and his blue eye shining even more beautiful.

"I... I left school before lunch", I stutter awkwardly and rub my arm. "Dad said... he said I should come over right now."

For a moment, we stand there looking at eachother - me blushing and Rai frowning - then he suddenly lowers his tail and ears into a much less defensive stance.

"You look like you don't really want to be here."

With those words, he steps aside and lets me enter before closing the front door behind me. I follow him down the hallway to the living room. Strangely enough, it doesn't look any different than last week. No personal belongings are strewn around like in our house, no books, no photographs, not even a phone or a wallet. It's plain and empty and the only thing in this room that seems to be somewhat of importance are the two swords I've seen Rai train with. They've been carefully pinned to the wall across from us, unsheated and ready to be used anytime. Either Rai is just not a messy person or he has no such things as books and other stuff.

"You don't like to be here", Rai suddenly repeats and his voices startles me enough to make me suck in a sharp breath. "You're not scared of me, are you?"

He's not getting a response - I have no idea how to answer that question. No, I'm not... _scared._ Just... Well, I don't know what I am, but I'm not scared of him.

"I already told you that I'm sorry. You should have listened to me, Konoe."

He rounds me with fluid, swift movements, looks at me for a moment, then turns his back to me and starts removing the black leather gear from his arms and wrists. I watch in fascination as he unties the knots with his teeth. Is he showing off on purpose? Is he trying to embarrass me even more?

"Well, why don't we get to practice?", Rai muses, throws the bracers onto the couch and turns around to face me. "Let's see what you can still remember from last time. Not that it's necessary to tell you what to do - you're too talented to still need instructions. I just want you to learn not to be so shy about yourself."

Before I can protest, his right hand is on my waist and his left hand grasps mine. But in contrary to our first time doing this, he doesn't start moving, just stares at me with his beautiful eye and a light smile tugs at his lips when the fur on my tail begins to rise.

"Go on", Rai suddenly says very softly. "We don't have your dad around to play us a tune today, so we'll have to dance without music. I'm sure you can do that."

My irritation must be almost seizable, but the anger and frustration won't let me cave in now.

"Fine!", I snarl back at Rai, making him laugh quietly.

But just as I've said that, I notice that I have absolutely no idea where to start. He says I should be able to dance without music? Why does he even think that?

"I'm waiting."

His laughter is like pins and needles to my ears. And while I stare him down as angrily as I can manage, my tail starts to sway. Rai's gaze follows it, hypnotized, and suddenly, we're dancing with easy, rhythmical steps. I'm not even sure where the melody is coming from, but it's here. It's soaking through my entire body, leads my movements and makes me smile triumphantly at Rai, who still looks like he really can't take his eye off of me anymore.

Why is he staring like that? The heat of his gaze is burning holes through my body, fuzzy white clouds start to wrap around my head. What the hell is going on? I try to blink the fog away, but it's to no use.

"Konoe", a voice says close to my ears, so close, too close, too loud, too confusing...

I stumble and feel the ground slipping away beneath me. All strenght has suddenly left my body. Desperately trying to hold onto something, I reach out my hand towards the blurry figure in front of me before I collapse. Rai barely manages to catch me before I hit the floor. Once I feel his arms safely around me, the shadows swallow up the light and as if on cue, I black out without any warning.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

"...atible. Deeply compatible. You should keep your distance from him for at least a few weeks or until the mating season has ended. Maybe it would be better if Konoe stayed at my place during that time or the pheromones could cause serious problems for the both of you."

The voice is so unfamiliar and the feeling of cotton in my ears doesn't exactly help. I shift and try to open my eyes, but I can't. Everything is so exhausting.

"Konoe, open your eyes. Talk to me. Can you speak? Konoe, are you awake?"

Someone lightly pats my cheek, but all I can do is stare up at them from beneath my heavy lashes. Speaking is impossible.

"But will he be okay?", another voice asks impatiently. "Is he going to be alright?"

"Calm down, he's fine. A sudden overdose of hormones, that's all, nothing harmful. He needs a few hours of rest and some distance to you, then he'll recover."

Something soft tickles my neck and a cool hand strokes my forehead until it feels like my mind isn't made of candyfloss anymore.

"Konoe, can you hear me?"

This time, I recognize the voice and my vision clears enough for me to see the face above me more clearly. It's stern as always, but a hint of worry is flashing in those pretty eyes. When he notices me looking up at him, Leaks sighs.

"Okay, he's awake again. Do you feel alright enough to move already?"

He carefully helps me to sit up and I look around, confused. Where am I? Still at Rai's place? And why does it feel like I'm having the worst hangover of all times? Dad and Leaks are right next to me, exchanging concerned glances from time to time while I try to sort out my thoughts.

"So you're... going to take him away for a week?"

_Boom._

That fucking hurt. My pulse starts throbbing beneath my skin and like they're guided by magic, my eyes move across the room and towards the towering figure by the door.

"Excuse me?", Dad exclaims agitatedly. "What did you expect? That I'll leave him here, right in your reach? He's seventeen! You can't possibly be planning to mate with Konoe! Is that why you have come here? Is that why you offered to train him? So you could become his mate? Did you move in here just for that? Never, I swear to everything you may believe in, never! Konoe is-"

"Shui, calm down!"

Leaks' scolding makes Dad shut up immediately, but he keeps lashing his tail and staring at Rai like he's just threatened to murder us all on the spot and his eyes are ablaze.

"That was never my intention."

In all honesty, I'm about to scream my lungs out. His voice hurts, it hurts, it hurts! But all I manage to get past my lips is a pathetic mewl as my whole body tenses and starts throbbing with a dull ache, especially my ears. I bring both hands up to cover them, want to block out everything and Rai's voice in particular. What did he do to me? Neither Dad nor Leaks' voice hurt as much as his does!

"Poor boy. Don't worry, we're going to leave right away."

"See what you did? I should have never let you near Konoe in the first place! We have to move, I can't put my boy through this every few months. What am I supposed to do? What if he blames me? What am I going to do if he hates me after this? Leaks, what am I-"

"Shui! You're not exactly helping if you start to cry now. Get yourself together now, we can talk after this. Pack some of his clothes and just let me get him away from here."

I hear shaky breathing, but it gradually starts to fade into the distance.

"Okay, okay. I-I'm fine, I'm alright. Let's go."

It's so hard to keep my eyes open. I struggle and struggle, but it feels like someone is weighing my lids down time after time until I give up and surrender to the darkness that engulfs me the second I've closed my eyes. The feeling of being picked up and carried somewhere is familiar, just like the one of soft fur tickling my wrist for the briefest of moments. Someone yells, but I can't make out the words they're saying. Then, there's smooth, cool leather beneath me, the steady sound of a running engine and the muffled noises of traffic until my world has turned completely black and my body is too numb for me to feel anything anymore.

Only my wrist itches and hurts like I've burnt it.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

The first thought that seizes me when I wake up is _Where am I?_ and then I know that it doesn't matter either way because it's definitely not where I should be right now.

Which leaves me with the question of where I am supposed to be then.

 _Not here,_ a quiet voice in my head whispers determinedly and I can't help but agree.

This place doesn't feel right at all. Nothing here feels right. The bed, the air, the room - strange, unfamiliar, uncomfortable. And why is it so hot? God, why is it so damn hot? I want to push the blankets around me away, only to notice that there aren't any blankets. Panting, I glance over at the window. It's wide open and the nightsky outside is of a beautiful, dark grey. But this time, I haven't got enough patience to admire the sight. All I know is that it's too hot in here. I dash over to the window and suck a deep breath into my lungs, only to start choking on the warm air.

"Dad!", I whimper instinctively, just like I have always done when I've been feeling sick.

Nobody answers. My vision shakes until I can't tell the floor from the ceiling anymore and stumble over to the door. Nothing here smells right. It's disgusting and unbearable, but somehow, I manage not to throw up. My hand comes to rest upon a doorknob and without thinking, I turn it. Finally, the air seems to cool down a few degrees. I blindly make my way across the room. This... has to be a bathroom. I can sense the outlines of a shower in front of me and without even thinking much about it, step inside and turn it on. Cold drops of water start gushing down on me with the force of tiny bullets, but I can't remember the last time showering has felt this great. Still, it seems like layers and layers of sweat are sticking to my body and even though the water is icy, it's like I can't wash them off.

Just what is wrong with me all of a sudden?

Breathing heavily, I sink to my knees and lean my forehead against the cool, wet tiles of the wall. I'm not even sure how long I've stayed there, curled up beneath the stream of water, but eventually, my jaw starts trembling and the tips of my fingers turn numb - all while I'm still close to ripping my skin off because the heat is still burning me inside out.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry..."

Someone suddenly grasps my shoulder and gently drags me out of the shower. I don't have the power to respond or sit up, so I just stare blankly ahead while water drips from my tail and hair to the floor. Something soft is wrapped around my upper body, but I shake it off as soon as it touches me. A low sigh answers my reaction.

"Konoe, dear, I know how you feel but even so, your body is cold. The heat won't go away, even if you freeze yourself to death."

The towel is placed over my shoulders again, and this time, I let Dad do as he pleases with drooped ears and limp tail. He carefully dries off my skin and hair, then leads me back to the bed and sits down by the edge of it. This has happened way too many times lately - me feeling miserable and he staying by my side to comfort me.

"Dad?", I ask huskily.

He smiles the beautiful, sad smile he always smiles at me in moments like this and lets me rest my head in his lap so he can run his fingers through my hair.

"What is it?"

Sweat is pouring down my neck and back, soaking the fabric of the shorts I'm wearing and the bedsheets beneath me. I shift again and again, but nothing helps with the discomfort from being here. From being in this place.

"I shouldn't be here and I don't know why."

The words leave my mouth without a second thought. Dad's hand stops petting me for a moment. When he speaks up again, his voice is strained.

"Then where would you like to be instead, dear?"

Right, where _do_ I want to be? Even though the question makes my head hurt, something tells me that I've known the answer from the start, all while I deliberately try to avoid that thought.

"N-Not here!", I finally burst out in despair and feel tears starting to fill my eyes. "Somewhere else, not here! Dad, what's happening to me?"

His hand cramps down on my hair and I feel claws against my skin.

"I'm so sorry, Konoe, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

He sobs, and it's the most terrifying sound I've ever heard. I have never seen Dad cry, not even after Mom's death. Not even after we moved out of our old house in Karou, leaving not only the place where they've met but also her grave behind. Through the sounds of his crying, the door opens and firm steps approach. I feel another presence close to the bed and the mattress sinks down from the weight of a second cat.

"Shui, don't cry, please. Stop crying, everything will be alright. Come, please, you really need some rest. I'll watch over Konoe in the meantime, I promise. Don't worry about him."

Leaks' voice is quieter and softer than ever before as he takes Dad's wrist and guides him out of the room. I reach out one hand, but the sleeve of my father's shirt just so slips from my fingertips. I can't call out for him. I can't utter a single word. My throat is sore and my tongue swollen - I can barely _breathe._

"No, Leaks, let me stay with him, let me stay here, don't make me leave him, please, please, no..."

His voice breaks down and I hear them both walking away, Leaks talking quietly and my Dad sobbing into his shoulder while heatwave after heatwave rushes through my body, blurs my mind until my thoughts are all a horrible mess of joined images and sounds and smells and my head hurts too much for me to lift it.

"Shhh, calm down. You will be alright soon. The first day is the worst, you'll get better tomorrow."

The person talking to me isn't Dad, but for the first time since I know him, Leaks sounds somewhat like a parent to me. At first, he just sits with me, whispers calming words and comforting lies, but the shaking of my body won't cease. I keep trembling despite the heat. Until suddenly, he gets up, only to return a few moments later with something in his hands.

"Here. Maybe this will help you calm down, at least a little bit", Leaks mutters and places something down very close to my face.

It's soft and cool and incredibly fluffy as I rub my cheek against it and pull it closer. This has to be a blanket, but for some reason, not even the smell of it irritates me. It feels like something so familiar, something so soothing... The itch on my wrist starts to fade as I wrap myself in the blanket and carefully close my eyes.

White fur. A lush tail and beautiful silver hair.

I wish I was somewhere else.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

I don't know for how long I've been drifting through my own fever dreams, but they get more confusing and dark as times goes on. I see Aoba and we're playing volleyball in the schoolyard like we've always used to do, but suddenly, the ball explodes into a million red sparks. They all start gathering at the edge of a dark abyss that suddenly opens up around us and I recognize the figure as Koujaku. He reaches out one arm towards Aoba and my friend doesn't even look back at me before walking over to him and talking the outheld hand.

"Where are you going?", I hear my own voice ask, all while my lips remain sealed shut.

Without answering, Aoba and Koujaku turn around. Red patterns form on the darkness benath them as they walk away. I try to follow them, but everything dissolves as I step onto the beautiful red tiles and I jump back with an outcry just in time before I lose my footing. But just as I turn around to desperately look for another way, the ground beneath me starts to crumble. My eyes widen, my tail quivers and I feel myself starting to panic as more and more from my surroundings fall to pieces and I'm pushed back onto a tiny island in the midst of this black abyss.

"Aoba!", I scream in horror. "Tokino! Dad! Please, help me!"

Nobody answers. I'm left alone in the darkness. Suddenly, a sliver of white flashes and I see someone walking towards me. Silver patterns form beneath their feet as they approach with long, fluid strides.

Rai.

He stops, looks at me, rests one hand on his narrow hips and smiles, but he doesn't move other than that.

"Help me!"

My voice is barely a whisper even though I'm screaming. And just as I think he'll turn around and leave me too, he takes another step. And another. Walks into my direction until he's right in front of me. Then, just as the last piece of ground breaks away from beneath me, his hand grabs my arm and pulls me onto the silver patterns along with him. His strong arms encircling me make me feel so secure and relieved that I almost burst into tears right there and then. A hot scent rises into my nose - the scent of whiskey, sweet and burning in my mouth and throat.

"Don't worry, I'm here now. I'm here, don't be afraid. You have to be quiet, okay? Very quiet, Konoe. They can't know I'm here. They wouldn't let me stay with you. Shh, not a single sound, okay?"

He breathes straight into my ear, his finger brushes my lips as he stares down at me. And even though they're already open, I open my eyes again. There's a dark shadow above me on the bed, looming yet radiating a comforting warmth. Then, Rai carefully takes his hand from my mouth and leans down instead.

"Goodnight, kitten", he whispers hoarsely. "I couldn't help but come see you. I couldn't stop _thinking_ about you."

Even if I'd wanted to, I wouldn't have been able to respond. Rai sighs and shifts until he's lying right next to me, curls one arm around my waist and nuzzles my neck.

"You must be so confused and afraid. I'm sorry for causing you this much trouble all of a sudden, but I can't help it. You're not the only one feeling miserable, after all."

His whole body is pressed up against my back and deliriously, I struggle to move out of his grip. If we stay like this, the heat will become even more unbearable. I'm already burning up, I'm-

I'm not even feeling feverish anymore.

His tail, plush and soft, wraps around my wrist once more and the fur on it is to cool, so calming and reassuring that I can't help but grab it so he won't take it away. Rai just breathes deeply, but he relaxes his tail and lets me hold it tighter. He doesn't say a word about it. Just leans forward, closer and closer until his lips brush my left ear and before I can curve it away, the tip of it is caught between his fangs.

"Mnh..."

I carefully try to move my head, but Rai holds me in place easily and starts nibbling at my ear. I whimper softly at the unknown sensation that starts coursing through me, yet something makes me keep still when he continues to groom me. I've been groomed by Dad before - Tokino too, but never this thoroughly and this gentle. It's like he does it for me to enjoy, not to get me clean. He combs my fur out until it's smooth and shiny, then sinks his tongue into my ear. An involuntary chuckle escapes me at the ticklish feeling, but Rai's hand shoots up to quickly cover my lips.

"Not a sound, I said", he whispers before returning his attention to my ear.

When he does it again - gently licking the insides of my ear - I bite down onto his palm to stifle the sounds bubbling from my throat. Rai hisses sharply, but it doesn't sound like he's really angry.

"Kittens that bite aren't nice."

With that short remark, he goes back to grooming me, obviously uncaring about the blood that starts to seep from his hand.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

I haven't even noticed that I've fallen asleep when I wake up in the morning to the oh so familiar melody of _Tom, the piper's son._ It's the song Dad has played me for years now to wake me up. But when I finally fight the feverish exhaustion off and carefully climb to my feet, I don't find him sitting on the end of the bed like usual. My steps are unusure and heavy as I pad over to the door and open it. I have never been in this house before. Where am I? Where are _we?_

My question is answered when I reach the living room.

There on the couch is Dad, legs crossed and eyes closed as he plays his lute. Leaks' head is resting in his lap, hands toying with Dad's long, flaming red hair almost absent-mindedly as he looks up at him and a rare smile tugs at his lips. They look so at ease with eachother... I haven't seen Dad relaxed like this in such a long time. Maybe I'm wrong about hating Leaks? Maybe it's really better like this?

"Good morning, Konoe", a soft voice greets me through the melody.

Dad hasn't even opened his eyes to look at me. I tense up a little, but then take a few hesitant steps into the room. Leaks' eyes are lazily wandering over to me, but he doesn't really acknowledge my presence.

"How are you feeling today? Better already? You look a little pale", Dad muses after throwing me a quick glance.

"What happened yesterday?", I ask weakly in return and shift my weight from one leg to the other. "I barely remember anything."

After ending the song with a soft, drawn-out note, Dad takes his hand from the lute and looks up at me.

"That doesn't have to be of your concern. Let's just say that being away from home for a few days will do you good. You can also skip school if you don't feel up to go. It might be better if you stay here, at least for the rest of the week."

He gets up, gently runs one hand through my hair and smiles before guiding back down the hallway and to the room I've been sleeping in. Once I'm back on the bed, the exhaustion takes over again and my eyes threaten to close in an instant. But when I feel the soft blanket against my cheek, I snap awake again and sit up. Something _happened_ here.

"Dad", I mutter, struggling to sit upright, "was someone in my room last night?"

He looks at me in surprise, then shakes his head with a slightly worried expression.

"No, Konoe, nobody was here expect me and Leaks. We didn't bother you at all during the night. Why are you asking?"

I lower my gaze to the mattress below me while touching my left ear. The fur is silky and softer than I remember it to be, but the tip feels sore. As if someone has bitten down on it.

"Oh, nothing. I was just asking", I mutter, roll over and stare at the window across the room.

It's still wide open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If somebody is looking for an Anime to watch: I _highly_ recommend The Promised Neverland. Finished watching it yesterday and I must say, it's by far one of the best Animes I've ever seen. Genres are Dark Fantasy, Horror and Thriller. Very emotional, too. 14/10


	6. Chapter 6

The first day at Leaks' house is okay.

After about an hour of arguing, whining and pleading, Dad lets me take another cold shower and I soak in the icy water for as long as he lets me (which isn't very long) before they both forcible shove me out of the bathroom again. Leaks scolds Dad for giving in to me and starts lecturing him about being too soft and compassionate, that this won't help me at all, that it's bad for my health and that I could get sick. He drags me to the bed, makes me lie down and prohibits me from leaving the room for a while, at least until my hair is dry. They leave me alone after that, which I'm partially grateful for. I'm panting, sweating, restless and miserable. The wind that comes in from the open window does little to cool me off and I'm dying of thirst, but no matter how many bottles of water I drink, it won't go away. It doesn't get better at all.

By dawn, around ten in the evening, I'm on the verge of tears, but too weak to keep pacing up and down like I've done until now. Dad is desperately trying to soothe me, but not even his singing can lull me to sleep today. Not when I'm burning up like this. Eventually, Leaks caves in to Dad's constant pleas and I feel him running something cold down my forehead, face and neck. Instinctively, I tense up and arch my back, but they keep me down and for a few moments, the heat turns into a dull warmth.

"This won't help forever, Shui. And don't look at me like this, it's your fault too. If you would let him stay with-"

"He's a _child,_ a kitten! And have you looked at Rai? Konoe is much too fragile for someone like him! This is his first time going into season, too, and you expect me to... to..."

He cries out in anger and I hear something shatter in the distance of my mind, then the sound of two cats fighting, but I can't bring myself to care. The only word my hazed brain can somehow comprehend is Rai's name.

Rai.

I groan and roll over to look at the window. It's open. If they would just leave, then maybe I could fall asleep, then maybe I could dream that strange dream again, then maybe I could feel better for as long as I dream of him lying next to me. I did dream that, right? Was it a dream? Was he really here? But Dad said I've been alone all night. It must've been a dream. I want to dream it again.

"You're not doing anything to help your son, you do realize?", someone gasps through gritted teeth and then I hear the sound of clothes rubbing against a wall.

"Don't! Not now, not here, y-you idiot, not _here!",_ Dad's voice rings through the room, followed by a deep, husky laugh from Leaks.

"Not here", he agrees quietly and then, the door opens and slams shut again.

Both of their voices start fading down the hallway and finally, peaceful silence sinks down over me. I don't know what's happening to me, to Dad, to Leaks right now, but it doesn't matter. Because not long after the door has been closed behind them, a shadow slips from the darkness and runs his hands across my bare chest.

"Good evening, kitten. I couldn't wait until nightfall, I had to come here sooner. Ah, just what are you doing to me?"

The voice is so close yet so far away from me that I blindly reach out to touch the person above me. Cool strands of long, bright hair are tickling my skin and when my lips twitch into a smile, Rai sighs in exasperation.

"Don't look at me like that. God, don't look so damn adorable, do you hear me? I can barely hold back looking at you, no need to make it even harder for the both of us", he mutters and just like the night before, he bites my ear and licks it to his heart's content, until I'm writhing beneath him.

His knees are still resting on either side of my body, keeping me right where he wants me. This time, as I chuckle breathlessly and close my eyes in relief, he doesn't even try to silence me, just smoothes both palms along my sides until they come to rest on my hips.

"You're so small, I can't believe it", Rai huskily breathes against my cheek. "I could hurt you so easily, everybody else could hurt you so easily... I won't let them. Nobody is allowed to hurt you. Nobody is allowed to harm you in any way."

His body feels so cool against mine that it eases all discomfort away. I bury my face against his broad shoulder and breathe deeply. What a beautiful dream. I wish I could stay asleep all night, I wish I could keep on dreaming. But something will wake me up for sure and then Rai will be gone again. Why am I even dreaming of him? Why do I feel so good when he's around? What is going on? Since I've blacked out in his living room, everything has been pure chaos.

"Poor kitten. I bet, you felt horrible today too. If your father had just left you with me... I'd take care of you so you wouldn't have to suffer like this."

His calming whispers work better than any lullaby and I find myself drifting off. Just before I fall asleep, Rai begins to groom my face with short, affectionate licks.

"I'll watch over you. Rest now, Konoe."

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

The second day at Leaks' house is horrible.

Something must've happened over night. I feel better after sleeping for a few hours, so I leave my room and pad down the hallway. The living room is empty.

"Dad?", I ask hesitantly, looking around in search of him.

That's when I hear the voices from the kitchen. My ears flick curiously and I move forward to peek around the corner. What I see is the strangest view I've probably ever been faced with in my life. Dad is standing by the counter with Leaks pressed up against his back. He's trembling, his tail keeps twitching up and to the side. On the ground next to him is a knife, just a regular kitchen knife, but it almost looks like he's dropped it. A deep blush has spread across his cheeks and his eyes are closed.

"-ly, look at you. So sweet and submissive all of a sudden. Why don't you just leave preparing lunch to me and go wait in the bedroom? I'll join you in a minute."

Leaks' whispers feel like bitter poison on my tongue and raging disgust starts to fill me. Still, I keep quiet, retreat back to my room and look around for my bag. I know it's here, I've stumbled over it yesterday night. Why is Dad okay with this? Why is he letting Leaks take advantage of him like that? I hate him, I hate him! I've been right all along!

Growling from all the anger and frustration, I check the contents of my bag. All of my school stuff, my pencil case and a few notebooks are inside. The clothes Dad has brought for me are piled up on the dresser nearby. I throw a fresh shirt and some dress pants on, tie my shoes and grab the bag. Before Dad and Leaks can even notice that I'm awake, I'm out the door and down the street, on my way to campus.

The run through the city is long and exhausting. I get tired much more easily than usual, I notice, and have to slow down after a good twenty minutes. My chest heaves and my sore throat hurts, but I keep on walking. The feeling of my heart beating echoes throughout my whole body, it feels like my muscles are pulsing too. The moon of light adds to the heat coursing through every single one of my veins and after I've walked for another ten minutes, my legs give out. Panting and desperately gasping for air, I sink to the ground near a wall where a shadow is cast over me. Sweat keeps dripping down my forehead and temples as I let my gaze wander across the buildings nearby. A few houses further down the street stands a dark figure, tall and unrecognizeable. My hands, already a little shaky, start trembling for real now. A strange fear seizes me, like the figure is posing an unspeakable threat to me, even though it's not even moving. But maybe that's what makes it so suspicious - the person, whoever it is, hasn't moved one single bit since I've laid eyes on them.

I reach for my bag, eyes literally glued to the figure, and blindly search for my phone. When I finally feel it beneath my fingertips, I pull it out and unlock it. Typing Tokino's number is almost impossible with how much I'm shaking, but eventually, I manage to press _"Call"_ and lift the phone to my ear. It doesn't take long for Tokino to pick up.

"Konoe!", his voice booms excitedly. "I haven't heard from you in _days!_ Where are you? Are you on campus? Tell me where and I'll come and pick you up!"

For a moment, I can barely breathe from how relieved I am. Then, the tears start pouring and I sob helplessly into the phone until Tokino, who keeps trying to calm me down, calls out my name so intently that I stop crying for a moment to catch my breath.

"Konoe, tell me where you are and I'm coming! You can't possibly think I'm leaving you alone right now, so give me some sort of description of where you are and I'll be there as soon as possible. Hurry, can you see any signs or do you know the neighbourhood?"

"I'm... I'm o-on my way to... to c-campus", I choke out between to stifled sobs. "Some... somewhere East of the t-town square. P-Please, hurry... hurry up!"

The dark figure seems to get closer by the second and I curl into a ball as tight as somehow possible.

"Be there in a second. Stay right where you are and keep talking to me, okay?", Tokino responds and I hear him running, talking to someone else, then the engine of a motorcycle roars up.

"There's someone w-watching me", I cry out in despair while my body stiffens in fear. "I don't know who... this is!"

For a moment, there's silence on the other end of the line, only the muffled sound of traffic answers me.

"I'm almost there, Konoe, don't worry!", Tokino finally yells and at the same time, I hear a motorcycle approaching from behind me in the otherwise quiet street.

It comes to a halt with screeching tires and the driver jumps from the seat, carelessly dropping both helmet and phone to the ground. A wave of bristled crimson red fur washes over me and I feel two slender arms wrapping around my neck.

"Konoe, holy shit! What happened to you? Why are you even here? Oh fuck, why didn't you call sooner if you were in trouble? I'm here now, okay? I'm here and I won't let anybody hurt you anymore, I promise, I promise..."

The words keep gushing from his mouth like a waterfall while I dig my claws into his shoulder and hold onto him for dear life. Tokino hastily smooths out my hair with one hand, nuzzles my neck and I close my eyes when his comforting scent engulfs me like a bulletproof shield.

"Should I take you home?", he finally asks when my racing heartbeat has calmed down a little. "Your dad is probably worried alrea-"

"I never want to go back to Dad!", I scream in anger and tears start dripping down my cheeks anew. "Not as long as he keeps Leaks around!"

Visibly taken aback, Tokino nods slowly and hugs me even tighter.

"Okay... So what now? My place? You know that Dad wouldn't mind you staying there at all..."

I shake my head and sniff before wiping my face and looking up at my best friend, who is worriedly staring back down at me.

"N-No. Let's go back to campus", I mutter with another sniffle.

Tokino seems unconvinced, but he offers me his hand to help me stand up, grabs his phone and helmet from the sidewalk and opens the trunk of his motorcycle to hand me the spare helmet.

"If you insist. But you better believe that I'm going to stay with you all day long."

As soon as we're both seated and I've wrapped my arms around his middle, he reaches for the key and turns it. Before we drive off, Tokino looks up and down the street.

"Didn't you say someone was watching you?", he asks uneasily over the running engine.

I follow his gaze.

The dark figure is gone.

※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※ ◎ ※

My phone keeps ringing all throughout class today and at some point, I don't even bother to hang up the calls from Dad anymore, just mute all notifications and go back to paying attention. I'm still feeling a little feverish and miserable after my breakdown just a few hours ago, but Tokino keeps comfortingly wrapping his tail around my waist whenever I tense up and like that, I manage to fight through all of today's lessons.

We have lunch at the cafeteria with Clear and Noiz, the latter being even more snappy and irritable than usual. At some point, Clear leans over to me, giggling and whispering that Noiz is just being like this because he misses Aoba and I don't have the heart to explain jealously to this pure-hearted ray of light. So I just smile weakly and try to give Noiz a compassionate look, but he turns away, crosses his arms and keeps sulking.

"Where is Theo?", Tokino suddenly asks with a scowl. "I didn't see him at all today. Is he sick, Noiz?"

The blond cat lashes his tail angrily and beats it against the bench he's sitting on before abruptly jumping to his feet and storming off.

"That's none of your fucking business!"

We stare after him with wide eyes and confused expressions, then Clear shrugs and turns his attention back to the apple on his plate.

"Lately, everbody is being a little weird. You too, Konoe-san. You've been crying today, but when I asked what was wrong, you said that it was nothing. And Theo-san and Noiz-san have been arguing a lot, something about money. Aoba-san doesn't even come to school anymore because he likes his new friend better than us. I hope everybody will be better soon."

Hearing his soft voice say something like this makes my appetite vanish completely and I put my fork down. Tokino stares at his food with the same sudden disgust that has overcome me as well, then he pushes the plate away and drops his head down onto the table with a dull sound.

"Right. Me too."

We keep sitting there for a few more minutes, then we get up and decide to take a walk around campus before afternoon class starts for Clear and me and Tokino have to go home.

"Ah, I forgot my bag", I suddenly realize when I see Tokino grab his own. "Let me just go back to the lockers and get it, then I'll join you."

They nod and tell me they'll wait by the fountain. I spin around and dash up to the main entrance, down a few hallways and to my locker. The corridors are empty and quiet since everybody has either gone home or to grab lunch somewhere. I grab the key from my pocket and open my locker to reach for my bag, when my outheld arm is suddenly grabbed and slammed against the locker next to mine.

I shriek in pure horror, but a gloved hand covers my mouth quickly and when I bite down, I taste tanned leather.

"What do you think you're doing, running around like this?", a deep voice snarls directly into my ear and before I can answer, a sharp pain runs through it. "Baka neko! Do you have any idea of how dangerous it is for you to be here?"


End file.
